75 Seconds (Give or Take)

• Is it a prerequisite for taxi drivers to be shit drivers?
• How many people don't work in this country that no one knows about?
• Fuckwit has scaffolding up the front of his house. His roof needs fixing. How does he afford these things? Seriously, how does he afford them? I can't even get what I should be entitled to. He is either on some kind of crazy scam or unbeknownst to everyone he really has a job.
• The company that disposes of Northampton Borough Clowncil's (did you see what I did there?) decomposable waste can't process sawdust or newspaper if it has animal pooh or pee in it, near it or been spoken to by it. It's not a health and safety issue. It's not a sawdust issue - they'll take sawdust as long as a turd has been nowhere near it. You see small furries waste is not processable and therefore neither is anything it might have contaminated, but it isn't a health and safety issue, unless it is, but no one has said anything. What do clowncils do with dog shit?
• I have got 16 strawberry plants in. Planted some dwarf beans and beetroots. Actually done something in the garden that looks like it might have been thought up by someone who knows what he is doing. I got my potatoes in at the weekend, discovered I now have two rhubarb plants (as part of the root I left in the ground has regenerated) and I'm very nearly almost where I want to be.
• There is no more.