My Cultural Life - Sturm und Drang

 What's Been Up? 

I've never felt the need to be careful with what I say in my blogs. Anyone who knows me knows that I speak my mind; it often gets me into trouble but equally a lot of people are pleased that someone says things that they feel. However, I'm properly torn at the moment, because I want to relay an incident that happened to me the other day, but I'm concerned because it involves someone some people up here in Galloway might know* and I really have been trying very hard not to ruffle too many feathers in my home...

I was somewhere local, walking the dogs, when I engaged in a conversation with someone I've known for almost all the time I've lived here. We might not be called friends, but we have always chatted and our mutual love of dogs has meant there's common ground between us. This person is not heterosexual and I say that not to be provocative, but to compound a point. Several years ago, someone I'd known since I was at school, a friend, expressed extreme opinions of a right wing nature and that pretty much ended that friendship as I was not going to associate with a person with such extreme opinions given they were gay and had invariably suffered from a specific kind of discrimination throughout their life.

I tend to think of people who fall into the LGBT+ category as people who have probably seen some form of hatred, usually by ignorant bigots, aimed at them. I expect if there are any people out there who fall into the LGBT+ category who haven't experienced some form of discrimination or hate speech then they are lucky people. So the last thing I would expect is to meet someone from that demographic who could be so rabidly bigoted about foreigners and equally so dismissive of arguments contrary of their radicalised beliefs, but that is what happened. I listened to someone I've known for almost a decade spew hatred about Muslims, about refugees, about Africans, about anyone they didn't perceive as British. They were careful to say they weren't racist because black, brown and Asian British people who were born here and are patriotic are okay, but it's the raping, murdering, thieving immigrants who get more than our own poor people who should be drowned in the channel, who are responsible for ALL of the UK's ills.

I tried to argue that economic migrants come here because we have unscrupulous employers who would rather pay an illegal migrant £5 an hour to do a job rather than pay ordinary people the living wage, so some of the blame has to be directed at these people. But, apparently, that's been happening for years and isn't the reason. I said that asylum seekers get barely anything from the government, something like £9 a day to live on. But no, they get hotels, mobile phones, cars, free health care, carte blanche to rape and pillage without consequence. I said that the people complaining and vilifying migrants were responsible for this mess by lying about Brexit; that once we were out of the Dublin Agreement we were screwed by the people who told us Brexit would bring us 'are cuntry back'. And I was told that is it was snivelling shits like the new PM who won't make deals with Europe because they want our Christian-based country to be torn apart so that Muslims can take it over. That our king is now a radicalised Islam follower. That Brexit would have worked if the right people had been in control of it. That nowhere is safe to live now because we have rape gangs patrolling the streets targeting our children...

This wasn't just a tirade, this was an almost apoplectic rage rant containing so much anger and hatred and denial that I felt so uncomfortable I wanted to walk away. My wife said, "Why the hell didn't you do what you always do and argue with them? Why didn't you put them right with facts? Why did you stand there and let this person say such vile things?" And I said, I see this person at least once a week, maybe not to talk to, but they are around. They are friends with people I call friends and while our mutual friends might not be born again Nazis, they might have similar thoughts and beliefs. I simply don't want that kind of confrontation, because trying to be reasonable got an even more rabid response. This person isn't interested in the truth, this person has let hatred consume them to the point that they sound like lunatics when they rant... but lunatics who more and more people seem to agree with and what's the point of trying to be some kind of left wing woke King Canute, trying to stop the unstoppable tide of hatred when people are no longer interested in facts?

One positive thing happened. Just before we went about our own business, I think this person saw the sheer and utter shock on my face. The fact that I was appalled at what I was hearing, because they made their excuses and continued on their way. It left me mentally exhausted and writing this up 24 hours later, I'm still shocked. It was one of the most unpleasant 20 minutes of my time in Galloway; listening in disbelief to the mad rantings of someone overtaken by hatred and lies; who believes everything the right wing press say and worse. I felt violated and a mixture of very sad and unbelievably angry. Yes, the UK, like many other European countries is struggling on so many levels and I acknowledge that some tough choices will end up being made to appease these nutters. It bothers me considerably that people will always point the finger of blame at mostly innocent people without seeing or understanding why, but we're now living in a period of time where reason is not a way to counter hatred and maybe staying quiet, keeping our heads down and avoiding making these lunatics think we're part of their problem is probably the best way forward at this moment in time... 

* Do not ask me who this person is, I'm not saying.

Green Lights

I know I have a bug up my arse about The Guardian newspaper's reviews (among other things), but over the last 12 months they have stopped the comments sections on these reviews and I wonder if that's because they don't want people making comments like 'How come you're the only people in the world who like this shit?' or "Why do you give bad reviews for things everyone else likes?' Or maybe they just don't want people calling them out and accusing them of making reviews a paid for content part of the paper. You know, production companies pay the paper to write favourable reviews of shit things and the companies that don't pay them get crap reviews? This is just a theory, but there have been so many 'this is great' reviews when clearly they weren't and almost as many 'this is crap' reviews when they're not. I read the extremely negative review of Lanterns on Monday and it really hyped me up for what was likely to be an excellent debut...

Lanterns episode one was cracking TV. I obviously watched something completely different than the Guardian because this was everything I wanted from a superhero TV show. It helps that in the 1970s the only DC comic I had any time for was Green Lantern and Hal Jordan was a hero you could aspire to. This TV show casts Kyle Chandler as Hal and what an inspired bit of casting that is. Aaron Pierre as Jon Stewart is almost as good as the guy who the Guardians of the Universe chose to be Hal's replacement, but this is more than that. Almost from the opening scenes this drew you in and left you wanting more. It also wasn't like a superhero show, more like a neo-western with an extra-terrestrial twist; a kind of post modern Cowboys and Aliens but without Daniel Craig. The Green Lantern and his trainee are drawn to Nebraska where Hal believes aliens have been killed in a mass shooting (in 2016) and they walk into a ready made conspiracy theory where a local landowner and militia leader - Gareth Dillahunt - believes the earth is being primed for an alien invasion and it seems he might be right. Just enough was given away in this opener to make you want to come back for more. This is a great start.

** A Guardian Aside... Last December, I reviewed an indie film called It Ends, I gave it a score of 3/10. IMDB gives it a rating of 5.6, which is slightly better than my rating. The movie is getting a limited theatre run in the USA, Australia and the UK and the good old Guardian reviewed it this week and gave it a 4/5 rating and talked about it like it was some work of Gen-Z genius. 

I feel compelled to point this out to all of you, despite very few of you probably reading this neo-liberal sell-out and fewer giving a shit. The thing is, there an element of comedy in there now. It actually works really well for me - bad review is 90% likely to be a good film; good review, check IMDB and then don't watch. It is so contrary it's funny.

The Road to Armageddon

We watched another movie we thought we'd seen before, but if we had it must have been erased from our memories. The Book of Eli is a post-apocalyptic road movie starring Denzel Washington as a man on a very long mission to take a trusted book out west. He is a man capable of looking after himself in a dangerous Mad Maxian styled landscape in the aftermath of a war that has destroyed humanity and left it in ruins. Along the way he runs into Gary Oldman's Carnegie, a man who is after the book that Eli is transporting. Mila Kunis is the girl that Eli takes under his wing and there are a number of colourful survivors they meet on the way. It's a grim film with an uplifting message of hope and while I don't remember any of it, it was entertaining and not at all preachy despite its biblical implications. 7/10

Trailer Trash

A double bill from the MCU this weekend just gone. First there was a special Avengers: Doomsday trailer, which displaced and proved wrong so many You Tube know-alls and secondly there was a trailer for VisionQuest, the third and final part of a trilogy you never knew existed...

All those ITK [In The Know] Tube of You channels claiming that the twist in Avengers: Doomsday is going to be that Doc Doom isn't the villain in this film will be quietly hoping that the collective memories of people who tuned into their usually bullshit channels will have forgotten what was said. This is because the second trailer for the December blockbuster makes it absolutely clear that Doom is the villain of the piece. The new trail is essentially Sue Richards starting by saying that Victor was a decent man, the cleverest in the room, but some tragedy turned him into a monster. Then we have a bit more of RDJ's dodgy Latverian accent, interspersed with Reed Richards shouting at Doom, asking him if all of this was his doing. There's headshots of various heroes, but this time it's all about Doom (and the Sentinels he raises from the ground). It doesn't have the impact that the trailer from a fortnight ago had, because there's no end cameo from you-know-who and Doom naturally has Tony Stark's eyes. It's not floating my boat as much mainly because I'm struggling to see how a man in grey armour and a green hoodie is going to be the scariest thing Thor has ever faced...

The VisionQuest trailer does look very interesting. It's pretty much taking place inside the new Vision's head, as he seems to be coming to terms with who he is now that Wanda's influence (and power) no longer has any effect on him. This ties into the Agatha All Along series, which loosely continued on from WandaVision and has Paul Bettany reprising his role as Vision and James Spader as Ultron. It's out in October and feels like it could be one of the better series from the Disney/MCU stable.

Back briefly to Avengers: Doomsday, there is a trailer - released by Disneyworld Vacationer (a Tube of You channel) where Huge Ackman - on screen - and Ryan Reynolds - off screen - petition Kevin Feige for a role in the above film. This suggests to me that both of them are indeed going to feature. The other short trailer, also from Disneyworld Vacationer, is Adam Driver announcing that he is going to be Marvel's Mr Sinister (albeit obliquely). There is also a video with other casting decisions for the new X-Men movie, which might be in pre-production - these people include Sadie Sink and Nat O'Connor - I was massively underwhelmed by all of it. The same Tube of You channel also announced a third Incredibles film...

A Fine Tribute

The wife summed it up perfectly, "This is like an Australian Local Hero." I'm not sure the comparison works in terms of story, but the sentiment and gentle comedy in this is comparable to that great 1983 movie. We watched The Dish as a sort of tribute to the great Sam Neill, who died a few weeks ago. It is the story of the space telescope in the town of Parks, in New South Wales, which NASA used to transmit the television footage of Neil Armstrong's moonwalk. It's a quirky but thoroughly wonderful film that tells the story of the three Australian men who man the telescope and the American, from NASA, who joins them to be the vital cog in the wheel, to allow the rest of the world to see probably the greatest achievement of mankind, so far. It is a superb film, full of great humour, a fantastic soundtrack (this was 1969 after all) and if you ever get the chance you should track it down and watch it. 9/10

Men Bad

Well... It took me nine years to get around to reading Sleeping Beauties by Stephen and Owen King, but I finally did and here are my thoughts... I had never really wanted to read this book because of the cover blurb. I know that sounds almost trite, but it really didn't sell me. Sometimes the short synopsis on the inside of the dust jacket cover does exactly what it needs to, but this sells it short, in my never humble opinion. What this book is pretty much encapsulates what I love about King - it has an apocalypse (of sorts), it's set in a small town, it has a vast array of characters - all of whom play a significant part in the story and most of all, it's bloody brilliant. It took me about five days to read - it's over 700 pages long - and is about a strange event where mostly all the women of the world fall asleep and are cocooned inside a substance not unlike cobwebs. it is essentially a modern day fantasy novel, but it's considerably more visceral and pulls absolutely no punches. The main thrust of the book is how the males of the species pretty much fall apart in the face of this unknown phenomena and how the fate of the entire world centres around the town of Dooling. I would probably say it's one of the best books - of this nature - I have ever read; it draws you in and never really lets you go. It doesn't really have a happy ending, but equally it doesn't have a bad one either; it has a logical ending, if such a thing is possible with such a fantastical premise. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who likes this kind of fiction; you really don't know what's going to happen with every page turn.

Oh Spider-Man

Ouch. I'd forgotten what an absolute heap of shit this was. To give it some credit, the opening 10 minutes or so were mildly interesting and then it went downhill very very fast. This is the much maligned Spider-Man 3, a movie that is pretty much despised everywhere on the planet and not just because it has a script and plot that could have been written by a deaf, dumb and blind imbecile but also for the 10 minutes about 90 minutes into it when Peter Parker becomes a really annoying 'hip and trendy dude' because of the symbiote that has attached itself to him. The 'Venom' character was a massive contradiction in terms during its stint hitchhiking around on Peter - was it living in/on him or did it live in his newly blackened costume in the suitcase in his cupboard? What did that even mean and how did it happen? Add to this an occasionally excellent Thomas Haden Church as Flint Marko aka The Sandman and also James Franco as the flip flopping around new Green Goblin and you have a film where MJ probably sleeps with yet another person - other than Peter - and still looks like she hasn't had her gingivitis cured. I think Sam Raimi - who I don't rate as a filmmaker anyhow - tried far too hard to try and make this a brilliant movie but instead turned in a half-baked turd. 2/10 

Musical Youth

We occasionally watch The Hit List on BBC1 on a Saturday and the new series started last Saturday and it was one of those quiz show episodes that blew us away. There were two (out of three) teams - a couple of young girls from Merseyside and a blind guy with his father-in-law - whose musical knowledge was unbelievable. The speed and accuracy of these players was almost faultless and the two girls, who eventually won £9.6K plus a £500 bonus for getting five out of five on the opening round, were phenomenal. They had a musical knowledge of the last 50 years that was mind blowing. It's on iPlayer, you should watch it just to be astounded.

Very Angry

This week's Furious was a mixture of comedy - yes, really - and things falling apart. Alice's boss thinks she's got her own boss trapped in her clever plan, but she doesn't and that ends up putting Alice in serious trouble. Meanwhile, Alice's former partner in the NYPD is getting a break with Alden (the serial killer's disabled fiancé), who has been giving the FBI a bit of a run around, in what is the episode's second comedy section and Alice's former boyfriend has not just gone off the rails, he's catapulted away from them like a shit from a cow and that can only mean one thing and it doesn't end well for him. This episode seemed like it was going to be the end of Catherine and I was suspecting the series would take a different direction for the remaining two parts, but FBI cover-ups and incompetence has now made it considerably more complicated.

Dead Ends

The most interesting thing about the second half of Ride or Die was how it stopped being a slightly frivolous comedy about an assassin and her suburban housewife bestie and become something very dark and twisted with a lot of things happening that firmly placed it in the nasty category. Things happened in the concluding parts that you could see coming a mile off, but some other things happened that really were not expected as Hannah Waddingham's Whiptail finally brought this to something of a conclusion. The thing is it also sets itself up for a sequel with Bill Nighy's Jack now on Interpol's radar and Judith and Deborah on a train surrounded by assassins from other agencies. It was fun at times, but also slightly excruciating at others with some of the humour feeling forced, but overall it was considerably better than either of us expected.

Faaaaark

When Brett Goldstein was in Shrinking he was a bit namby-pamby, but in Ted Lasso he is the absolute dog's bollocks. His Roy Kent is essentially a Rottweiler with a heart of gold and he always makes this show so much better than it is whenever he's in it. The latest instalment is essentially the usual bollocks as Richmond Ladies play their first friendly, in the face of hostility and a lack of belief. There's lot of swearing and crap set ups, but that's part of the charm, having set pieces that would seem quaint in a 1970s sitcom. There's the usual cod philosophy and borderline sexism, but it has found its feet since that woeful season opener.

The Hitman and Him

There are very few Ryan Reynolds films we haven't seen now and most of those we wouldn't touch with a barge pole, however The Hitman's Bodyguard has never fallen onto my radar, mainly because I expected it to be a load of shite and oddly enough it isn't. It is an entertaining buddy movie about an assassin and the man charged with protecting him when Interpol realises they have a dangerous leak in their ranks who might be working for the former Belarussian president - Gary Oldman - who is a very very nasty man. This is one of the better Samuel L Jackson movies of recent years, but this is essentially both Reynolds and Jackson playing characters [read: themselves] we've come to know and love. It switches between serious and silly with ease and is actually a lot of fun. 7/10

The Shitman, Him and Her

Oh my dear God... The original was a semi-serious action film with some laughs in it, this was a full blown comedy with very few funny bits in it. In fact, the funniest scene in the film ended up on the cutting room floor (and that was the reason I ended up watching the films only to be disappointed when the scene I was so impressed with wasn't in the finished product). This reunited Reynolds, Jackson and Salma Hayek in a movie that seemed to forget large swathes of the original, but that wasn't the worst thing; the worst thing was thinking that you could just make a overwhelmingly stupid film because the first one was funny. This was a fucking disgrace and if Ryan Reynolds has a problem with The Proposal why the fuck hasn't he disowned this steaming heap of shit? I'm not going to bother telling you what it was about because it doesn't matter; if you fall into a bath full of excrement, you do not start sifting through it to see what the people who filled the bath ate for their dinner. 2/10

Spewtiny

Oh come on. Seriously? This week's blog is brought to you by the people who do reviews for the Guardian and the fact they're either morons or, as I've already alluded, get paid for their content. I mean this newspaper has to find funding from somewhere, so why not get paid for content and then not say it's being paid... The latest Jaysun Stayfum 'action adventure' (and I use that term loosely) has landed and my favourite newspaper gave it a 3/5 rating, which considering the number of one and two star ratings it gives, is a real hallmark of excellence, at least in the eyes of the people who may or may not have actually watched this dung heap of sweaty arsehole debris. IMDB has it at 5.7 after less than a day of ratings, I expect that will fall hugely over the next week and the reason is because this is an appalling load of tripe. The best thing in it is Stayfum's stubble in a jeopardy-free, incoherent load of dog's cock. He plays a body guard who fails at protecting his boss - Ramon Tikaram - and then gets on a ship to find out who paid for the hit. From this point on it's about as exciting as constipation and as tense as some ancient knickers with slack elastic. It all seems to hinge on people trafficking, but what it really does is showcase the lack of talent available to make half-arsed wank like this. It's not even fun; one-man army films are essentially comedies, this was about as funny as dying of dysentery. 1/10

Conspiracies

We watched the opening two episodes of the Chris Pratt vehicle The Terminal List, from 2023, about a Navy Seal whose entire team is killed in an ambush in Syria and comes back to the USA and gets embroiled in a plot to have him killed, by unknown but hostile members of his own government. Is he suffering from PTSD and imagining it all or is there something trying to stop him from finding the truth? In the opening two episodes, those after Pratt's Reece have already brutally killed his wife, his daughter and his best friend and have successfully made it out to look like Reece is a loose cannon gone off the deep end. This is the latest in our search for TV series we have missed first time around which have good IMDB ratings and this is pretty good so far, if a little badly lit - it's like the cameraman is always in the dark. It is worth sticking with, so far.

What's Up Next?

There's been a lot in this week's blog; more than I thought the week would bring. sadly a lot of it has been worse than the drippings of my arse and my week was rocked by the story I told in the opening section. It's also been fucked about by the return of the chest infection - which may never have gone away - and feeling like shit for half the week, with an ongoing headache that has veered between nasty and full blown migraine. I could do without having a repeat of this week, which has had barely any high points and some of them were ruined by the fucking Guardian newspaper, which I have had a serious bug up my arse about all week.

Next week, I'm hoping I have more to be happy about. We're due a more tolerable return of summer and I'm reading another book; actually rereading one I've read twice already, I'll explain why next week. Until then, try not to kill each other and whatever happens in the next seven days, you're probably going to hear about it.

Up the Spurs!