My Cultural Life - Diminishing Returns

What's Up?

I expect the next General Election will be a straight referendum with one question being asked: Are you a racist? I know some Reform supporters would argue that and say they are not racist at all; just look at the number of brown people they have as candidates and members. I've developed man boobs as I've got older, I don't think of myself as a woman.

It might be time for Plaid, the SNP, Green and even the Libdems to stand up and offer something different. It might be time for people to throw Labour and Conservative away and look to something new for the future of the country. Reform has a strong number of former right wing Tories in their ranks; if people are so stupid and ignorant to remember what these 'people' did to the country between 2010 and 2024 then they deserve to lose their NHS, their benefits, their human rights, because when fascist authoritarianism comes to this country it won't discriminate.

Worst Day of the Year

This blog goes live on Saturday 25th. The worst day of the year. It is the day before the clocks go back to GMT from BST. There are lots of arguments for and against the changing of the clocks and I, personally, would like to see us adopt BST as a year round thing, even if it means people in the far north end up being in the dark until about 10am in December.

To be fair, I suffer from SADS and have done for most of my life and as a result the week leading up to the clocks going back I'm usually as miserable as sin (which is a strange expression given how some sins give so much pleasure...). This week has been no exception. It started right at the start with an arsehole on the roads who seemed to want to play a game of if you overtake me I'll overtake you back and then slow right down until you try to overtake me again. I mean, I drive a speed restricted small white van, I'm not going to be challenging boy racers any time soon, but the wanker I overtook was going about 30mph on the road to the beach. When he re-overtook me he was doing about 70mph and then he slowed down to about 25mph. Once upon a time I would have been incensed by such a twat, but this time I simply slowed down to 20mph and made it clear to him I was not going to play his game.

That seemed to set the tone for the week. As I slowly recovered from a virus I caught last week - it is October and I pretty much catch something every October - I just wandered around the house feeling miserable, especially with 6 months of often cold, wet and windy weather stretching ahead of us. Yes, there will be nice days; it will be mild and it will be sunny, but it's going to be March before we see the trees spring into life again - that's nearly SIX months - and while the winter does offer some colour, in the form of snow drops, scarlet elf cups and early spring flowers, the next couple of months, for me, are fucking awful... 

The Deeper the Hole 

Last week I was wondering if Chad Powers had staying power. The fourth episode felt a little like they'd run out of relevant ideas and there was almost the feeling of meandering around the edges of the story because the main story - in the show - is ripe for blowing up in the faces of those perpetrating it. Russ Holliday (Glen Powell) is a totem for bad luck; he literally only has to walk in a room and you know something is going to happen that he's going to regret; but his alter-ego Chad is now becoming a college football star and people want to talk to him; interview him on TV and find out all about this hick and naïve young redneck. This is where the problems obviously start and Russ and Danny (Frankie Rodriguez) don't seem to be addressing this massive elephant in the room - the need for a Chad back story that isn't going to be debunked in five minutes.

This week as Russ tries to think of a way where he can make Chad the dominant of his two personalities (not in a mental way), his ability to fuck up astronomically delivers his best fuck up yet. After a conversation with the coach's daughter Ricky, Russ decides he needs to dump Russ Holliday and become Chad Powers, but first he goes to a bar to have a beer and relax... Once he does what he does, he returns to Danny to tell him that Chad needs to be the person he has to be otherwise he can't succeed; so he goes off to do a television interview. Meanwhile, the coach (Steve Zahn) is still wrestling with his wife situation, who has been conspicuously absent since the start of the series and people are beginning to ask questions. She agrees to be part of the big TV interview thing and arrives at the family home just as the TV crew are about to start filming. Here is where she meets Chad Powers for the first time; unfortunately for Russ, he's meeting her for the second time and what had already been a really funny episode gets funnier. This really is a better show than perhaps you'd think and apart from the second episode, the emphasis on American football has been small.

A HUGE Film

"Are you sure we've seen this before?" Asked the wife as we were reaching the denouement of Solomon Kane (or: The We-Wanted-Huge-Ackman-But-He-Was-Too-Expensive Movie). The answer was yes, but we probably remembered little because it was an absolute load of shite. James Purefoy isn't Huge Ackman, but that is who the English actor must have been asked to channel because there were times you had to remind yourself that this wasn't the Wolverine actor putting on a bad West Country accent while wearing a prosthetic nose designed to make him look more like Huge Ackman. James Purefoy is okay at pretending to be Huge Ackman with a Cornish accent, but probably not okay as an actor. Sadly the film, its script and most of the acting was fucking abysmal and felt like chunks had been cut out to make it short enough to be a mild success - I mean Jason Flemyng was the villain and he was on screen for about five minutes. What few special effects were actually quite good, but this is the equivalent of a sticky tissue in the bottom of a bin in Huge Ackman's bedroom. 2/10

The Craic

Any movie that manages to have the general feel of Local Hero is okay in my book; therefore The Guard - a film with Brendan Gleeson and Don Cheadle - is worth a watch, especially as it's been on Film4 a couple of times recently. From almost the opening scene to the end, where you have an ambiguous outcome, it's a riot of hilarious nonsense, strange characters and a Father Ted-like humour that never leaves you wanting. Gleeson is a rogue Garda sergeant - rogue as in he does what the fuck he wants, including acid, prostitutes and robbing dead bodies - who ends up being part of a joint Garda/FBI operation to take down a drug smuggling deal worth £½billion. Cheadle plays the FBI agent assigned to be the liaison between the two institutions, who discovers that Ireland is a very strange place if you're not familiar with it. A thoroughly entertaining 100 minutes of blarney. 7/10

Trailer Trash

I spent some of Monday morning looking through the Tube of You at trailers for new movies and TV coming out in the next six months and had to stifle an enormous yawn. Predator: Badlands looks full of lunacy but the three minute trail probably gave most of the plot away and possibly spoiled some action scenes. There's some film with Chris Pratt and Rebecca Ferguson called Mercy, which the premise alone doesn't lend itself to the trailer business let alone have a three minute clip that basically tells you everything that is going to happen until the last five minutes. I stopped watching it because I might end up watching it, but it didn't exactly make me priapic with anticipation.

The first look at Marvel's Wonder Man filled me with some dread, to be honest. It's being called a 'meta-comedy' and remember the last 'meta-comedy'? The awful She Hulk series? This feels unnecessary and pointless and whatever happens at the end of it I don't expect this is something that will set the television world on fire. Most of the trailer is probably from the first episode, whereas there have been a number of promo pictures released of Yahya Abdul-Mateen II in the costume (which isn't the costume my Wonder Man ever wore) and the suggestion he's going to be very powerful. 

For those of you that care, he was relatively powerful in the comics and was very often a sort of pointless addition to the Avengers during their periods when the team was made up largely of heroes who didn't have their own comics. Wonder Man had a rather dreary meta-comedy-styled comic in the 1990s, which had failure written all over it because his backstory had always been relatively dull and got retconned a number of times. The addition of Ben Kingsley's Trevor Slattery is more jarring than anything else; for all of the character's naïve charm and humour, he still aided an abetted a terrorist organisation that killed loads of people [Iron Man 3]. If this is the kind of lowest common denominator supporting character we can expect then I don't see this being well received.

Nudes

This might be the third time I've written some kind of review about this film, which is probably a first for anything that isn't a superhero or science fiction movie - although there is a loose sci-fi theme going on in this. I first watched Cashback in about 2008, a couple of years after it came out and was blown away by it. I watched it again about ten years ago and still held the film in high regard, so as the wife had never seen it and I wanted to watch something I knew I'd enjoy (and prompted by hearing a song from the soundtrack), we put it on.

The thing about Cashback is there is a lot of necessary nudity in it. Now, I've become something of a prude in my old age and I'm not a huge fan of nudity for the sake of it; it's belittling to women. However, this is a film that makes female nudity the centre of attention. Sean Biggerstaff plays Ben, who has just broken up with his rather stunning girlfriend and is finding it hard to get over her. He develops insomnia and ends up working in his local Sainsbury's, where he meets Emilia Fox's Sharon. While working there Sean discovers he can stop time and this leads to him spending a lot of time drawing naked women - women who are shopping. It sounds a bit pervy; it's most definitely a film which would have some serious questions asked about its content in 2025, but it all fits in with Ben's fascination with the female form and his desire to capture it at its most beautiful. 

This is really just a snapshot of a period in the life of an art student; the people he works with, his friends, the women in his life and everything that comes with it. It is a truly delightful love story; a movie that screams out to have a happy ending. Biggerstaff is really good as Ben; you wonder why his career never took off. Fox is sublime as Sharon and the supporting cast are all fucking hilarious. It is a lovely, funny and sexy movie. 9/10

The Final Task

You would have thought that with most of the story concluding last week that the finale of Task would have been more like an epilogue than anything else. Yet, there was the subject of the dodgy cop and the biker gang to conclude, but the fear that there was going to be the sense of an anti-climax, thankfully, never materialised. This turned out to be an excellent series with some nuanced performances - especially by Mark Ruffalo - and a quite action-packed ending that seemed fitting. It's a series I wouldn't have recommended five weeks ago, when we were thinking of dropping it, but if you get the chance it's worth your time.

Doesn't End Well

There was a degree of being very happy at the conclusion of Gen V, this was generated by the fact I don't have to watch it again. There was also a degree of trepidation as the main cast members appear to have been recruited by the Resistance led by Starlight who obviously has had some work done (badly). The conclusion of this really rather tawdry series pretty much happened the way anyone would have guessed and hopefully it will fade into history forgotten and not missed.

Exit Via AI

A rather lowkey episode of The Morning Show after last week's fireworks, but that said even this managed to have a moment in it where I had to rewind to make sure I heard what I thought I'd heard. The people who run UBN are all having a crisis in one way or another and with the Olympics on the doorstep and Chris seemingly no longer part of those plans, it's up to Alex, Stella and their French overlord to come up with an alternative, the problem is events overtake all their planning and we're left with a real mess. Cory discovers something that could mend his relationship with Bradley, but will he use it?

Long Music

It's not often I actually spend money on music by complete unknowns. I like to get an idea of what I'm buying first and to a degree that's what I did with the Minneapolis-based ambient musician known as The Intangible. As is often the case, I stumbled on his music by accident - I literally saw a link for a piece of music, clicked on it and then fell down a Tube of You rabbit hole. I've always had a real soft spot for ambient, space music, type stuff. It's been 10 years since I discovered the brilliant Stellardrone (Edgaras Žakevičius) and while I've often had recommendations from people about music similar to his, no one has really hooked me. However, while The Intangible (there is no other info about him anywhere on the Internet) isn't the same type of music, its laid back, chill out vibes and gentle passages of music are absolutely right up my street.

So, I bought the album called Cosmic: Part 1: The Long Music Mix, which is almost 12 hours of music (for just £15) - it's essentially a best of compilation from the first ten or so albums (there's about 25!) - and it has been on since Wednesday. I can't say it's been on heavy rotation because I'm only about half way through it, but I expect it will be played an awful lot, mainly because it pushes all my buttons. If you like ambient music and something that you can just sit and allow to wash over you, then this is an extremely Good Value For Money purchase. I'll be recommending this to anyone I know who likes this kind of thing!

Oh FFS

The penultimate to last ever Brassic was a tasteless load of shite.

Not Fargo

That was a strange experience. Emma Thompson's latest movie channels Fargo, but badly. That's not to suggest Dead of Winter is a bad film, it's just a bit weird and was filmed entirely in Finland masquerading as Minnesota (where Fargo was set). Thompson does a passable Minnesotan accent as she plays a recently widowed women who runs a fishing tackle shop in the middle of nowhere. She is going on one last fishing trip to the lake where she first dated her deceased husband - to scatter his ashes - and she stumbles across a kidnapped girl running away from some guy she met earlier when looking for the road to the lake. What follows is a frankly bonkers story which I'll not go into because it would spoil the movie. I will say that it is quite violent in a strange way and is as bleak as fuck. It's not bad, but it is weird and not in a 'weird' way and the reason for the kidnapping is quite typical of what we like to think of as fucking stupid 'Mericans. 5/10

The Final Frontier

To finish our week off, we decided to watch a new show from Apple TV+. Good TV has been thin on the ground recently and I had hopes this would fill a gap. The Last Frontier is a kind of Con Air meets Jason Bourne meets the CIA thriller set in Alaska. A plane full of dangerous criminals stops over at a secret airbase in Alaska to pick up an even more secret and dangerous prisoner - Dominic Cooper - and within a few minutes of taking off an explosion takes out half the plane and it crashes in the middle of nowhere, amazingly only killing a few people and not our villain. Enter Frank Remnick, a US Marshal stationed in Fairbanks charged with trying to track down the criminals who escaped...

However, Cooper's Havelock character is a super spy, capable of all manner of jiggery-pokery and is also a stereotypical super agent who can do all manner of super-duper stuff. He has secrets which could blow the CIA out of the water and destroy/kill many lives. So enter Haley Bennet as agent Sydney Schofield - an alcoholic, washed up agent who is given one last chance to get her guy or face prosecution and treason charges for being a suspect in his escape from justice. The opening episode was great, although there were a few slightly contrived elements. We ended up watching the first three parts and by the end of the third part we'd unanimously decided not to watch any more. So many stupid things happened to enable a quite flimsy plot to move forward. People did things you would not expect; things happened that were telegraphed long before they happened and you've got about 100 US Marshals and FBI agents being given the run around by an injured ex-university lecturer who is now more indestructible than James Bond. It ended up being very silly and I wouldn't recommend it. However, it does have one unique thing: it features both actors who have portrayed Howard Stark (Iron Man's dad) - John Slattery (old Howard) and Cooper (young Howard). This factoid isn't enough to make you watch it. 

What's Up Next?

I've been largely disappointed with TV in 2025, there is still a way to go but we all know December is a graveyard of non-events. To try and counterbalance this we're watching Slow Horses over the next week...

There's also The Long Walk (tonight) and the new Buffalo Custardbath film The Roses. I expect a modicum of ambivalence about at least one of them.

You'll get what you get, but not before I rant and rave about the fucking clocks going back, plunging us into darkness for 4½ months...

My Cultural Life - Pottering About

What's Up?

I'm surprised that atmospheric pressure can still have effects on television signals despite the switchover to digital. That was a problem analogue TV had, but never quite as bad as this (who here isn't surprised at all?).

On Friday, we started losing TV channels, they'd disappear, come back and when we retuned the set top box we'd suddenly have an extra 50 channels, many of which weren't really there, while others were only to disappear five minutes after starting to watch them. Freeview announced on Saturday that it was down to the large area of high pressure sitting over the British Isles and warned people that it would be around for a week. On Freeview's Facebook page, most of the comments were about missing something called Strictly - despite it apparently being readily available on iPlayer. Many of the other comments were simply asking how and why this is happening in 2025 - a valid question, but in a country where more things go wrong on an almost daily basis nothing surprises me any more...

Except, the problem was solved by Tuesday, despite the same area of high pressure sitting over the UK. In fact, the anticyclonic gloom most of us have been suffering for almost a week now has been notable by the similarity it has on a day by day basis. So, how come TV reception is back to normal despite the original reason for its appearance having not changed at all? Call me cynical, but I like my excuses to be consistent and believable.

Living Hell

Yeah, sorry. I know, this is supposed to be a TV and film column predominantly, but... If you've been watching TV news in the recent week or so and not been slightly disturbed by some of the crazy things, outlandish claims and worrying trends that have been said - largely by Donald Trump and his army of fascist wankers - then you're either not paying attention or you're part of the problem. But the thing is, why aren't we shouting about actual things that have actual effects on our lives?

We're force fed all kinds of doom and gloom on telly now, but this is simply social conditioning - preparing us for a time when we won't be able to have a say about the real things blighting our lives. Take the largely ignored 'cost of living crisis' - yeah, we get the token 'news' feature, presented by Coletta Smith, the BBC's 'cost of living' editor, but these tend to be superficial, always seem to be focused on or for specific minorities in communities. When we're not being told how bad it's going to get, we're being told what we can do to offset price rises - always things we have to do ourselves rather than things that are mandatory. However, as food banks are a bit yesterday's news and the price of food isn't something news media wants to focus on for too long, we never hear much about anything to do with the way prices are again going through the roof.

I just want to give you a couple of examples of the creeping evil that is supermarket (and manufacturer) profiteering. Last week, as part of my weekly shop, I bought a bar of Galaxy Milk Chocolate and a small jar of Sainsburys decaff coffee. The chocolate cost £2.10 (for a bar that five years ago was about 75p) and the small jar of coffee was £1.25. One week later and the chocolate has risen to £2.45 - about a 17% rise - and the coffee is now £1.50 - about a 25% rise. IN ONE WEEK! It would be nice if whatever government is in charge could even look as though this is an issue that should be looked into. This isn't a global problem; yes, the price of chocolate and coffee has gone up, but before writing this I contacted two friends in different parts of the world and UK prices are almost twice what they are in the USA and in Europe. Capitalism is out of control in the UK and left unchecked we're headed for serious problems down the line...

Shit Meets Fan

Holy shit. What an episode. Sometimes I wonder if the quality of The Morning Show will ever dip; I rarely think it can get better than it is, because, you know, it's pretty good anyhow. There are the occasional episodes that knock it out of the park and this was one of them. After five episodes, we finally see some of Nicola Beharie, the TMS anchor who is off covering the Olympics and has barely been seen in the show since it returned. She made up for that absence in cataclysmic style. My fear that Cory (Billy Crudup) might actually have a proper skeleton in his closet is answered in an almost heartbreaking way [he is the best character in this show by a country mile and if you're a fan, he gets further ahead of the field with this episode] and Alex is in everything, sometimes for good and sometimes not so good. This week it's ex-TMS producer Mia (Karen Pittman) and Alex's bravado and strange way of showing her respect backfires on her big time. This was the best thing I watched all week. 

Impractical Magic

The most obvious problem with Mike Newel's Harry Potter offering is how flabby it is in the middle and what a badly plotted and uneven film it is. I shouldn't have been surprised that Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is nothing more than a place setter. Unlike the first three movies, which all had actual stories, this was really just a series of events that lead up to the resurrection of Voldemort and a conclusion that felt as though it was brought down to earth by some deity in a flying machine. It's overlong, overwrought and almost the weakest of the four films we have watched so far and given how awful the first one is that is damning it.

This is a film that forgets about the many supporting characters we've been slowly getting to know so far in favour of ciphers, new faces, poor henchmen and while there are some creepy moments, it really suffers from bad comedy moments and having no real direction. The three wizard friends are all now 14, hormones and teenage moodiness dictates many of their actions while being the middle film of the seven film 'stories' it feels very much like the middle film of a trilogy, like it's just there to make money. It isn't very good but tries to disguise this with unnecessary deaths and pointless new characters - although Brendon Gleeson's Mad Eye Moody is pretty good. 5/10

FUBAR

Finally, after six weeks of grim, slow and gritty, Task finally sprang into action. An opening 15 minutes with more action than the rest of the show has had since it started. The FBI has Robbie in their sights - literally - but so does the biker gang. What follows is a chain of events that lead us to the finale next week; characters die, some get injured and others are left wondering WTF is actually happening. It's finally turned into a half decent series, which might sound mean because it hasn't been that bad, but this week made up for all the waiting for something to happen.

Harry's Gushing Wand

The first of David Yates' four Potter films, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is better than the previous movie, but does still have the feeling of treading water. Like The Goblet of Fire, the title is more a description of something related to the story rather than anything to actually have any bearing on it. This is about how the magical community is overcome with their version of fascism as wizard and witch turn on each other because of the rumoured return of Voldemort. While this is an instalment that very much takes place in Hogwarts, it's also one that again puts regular characters on the wings and focuses on Imelda Staunton's Dolores Umbridge, a particularly loathsome individual who wouldn't have looked out of place with swastikas adorning her garments.

It's the part where the kids start to fight back and begin to learn how to do that. Harry teaches them, while the actual Order of the Phoenix don't do much at all, apart from not prove to be very efficient. This is the episode where Gary Oldman channels Jason King (Peter Wyngarde) and Ron and Hermione simply become supporting characters. It's better than the one before, but there's gaping holes in much of the plot. 6/10

Catfishing

The latest episode of Chad Powers (which has broken up our marathon week of Harry Potter films) was more of a slapstick affair without the actual slapstick. This week was Russ's turn to take centre stage as he and his mascot buddy go in search of some prosthetic glue because of a problem with the stuff Russ stole from his dad. It leads to a chase around Oklahoma trying to find an alternative and get back to the team hotel before bed checks. It had a couple of funny moments, but this was probably the weakest episode so far and that's because Russ is still an arsehole but Chad is quite sweet. How does that even work?

Hermione's Hormone Rush

As the latter part of the week will have a shedload of TV packed into it, we've spent the first half of the week watching the Harry Potter films and with the conclusion of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince we've just got the two-part finale to go. This is probably the second best of the movies, but it really doesn't do the story much justice. Lots of convenient plotting, some genuinely creepy moments, but largely it's just another scene-setter; films four, five and six have all felt like prick teases and now the kids hormones have exploded this is as much about the rise of Voldemort and the death of a beloved character as it is about Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny. Obviously these are children's films so no perverted funny business takes place, just a lot of snogging. This time around it's the mystery of who is the Half Blood Prince and once you find out you have to wonder why we had the previous two and a half hours; there was something rather anti-climatic about it all. 6/10 

V is for Something

The penultimate episode of Gen V is full of arrogance, misplaced belief and a few extra contradictions, because we haven't had enough of them so far. The secret of Cipher is revealed as our heroes return to Godolkin to free the actual Godolkin from Cipher's grip only to find out they've been played like a bunch of kids. I cannot wait for this series to finish next week and just hope that there won't be a third season and that any loose ends are quickly resolved in the final season of The Boys. Trashy, childlike television with absolutely horrible characters.

Death Follows Him Everywhere

The wife pointed out that everyone - almost - who gets close to Harry Potter dies, so it wasn't a surprise when at least three characters died in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One. Possibly the dullest and grimmest instalment in the series with half of it taking place in or around a tent in the bleak midwinter. Whenever Harry, Ron and Hermione ventured away from the tent something bad happened and they almost got caught and all they were trying to do was find the objects that Voldemort had hidden bits of his soul in. Der.

As penultimate episodes of franchises go this was particularly dull with all those supporting characters we've been meticulously introduced to throughout the previous six films almost entirely absent, reduced to brief cameos. It's just a movie that allows the plot to go into a circular routine - like an airplane waiting to land - where what tiny morsels of humour are bright beacons in an otherwise tired film that dragged on for an hour too long. 5/10

E is for Enough Now

Good episodes of Brassic are as rare as rocking horse shit, so last week's was a thing of wonder compared to this largely meandering episode where Dean Lennox Kelly makes one of his seasonal appearances, one where he's coerced into holding a rave for two people who met and fell in love at one of his raves in the 1990s. There's a bit about Jim and his daughter and the Davy McDonagh 'subplot' moves along slowly, but apart from a needed - but poor - appearance from Dr Chris (Dominic West), this was back to the shite standard most of this season has been reaching. Only a few more to go.

The Flaccid Spell

And so our week of Harry Potter came to a slithering halt. The final part of the series - and also the shortest instalment - was not exactly a tour de force, in fact, at times, it felt forced and unnecessarily elongated. I'm still not 100% sure I got all of it; some of the things that held the story together I still feel were underexplained or left to the viewer's knowledge of the books. It's always felt a little deus ex machina, with its overreliance on allowing magic to fill in all the vague bits. By the time the films got to the end Radcliffe never felt like he was a leading man, while Grint and Watson were both more than adequate as Harry's foils. There was some clever plotting in this at times and anyone unfamiliar with any of it will have been impressed by the overall contribution of Alan Rickman's character, Severus Snape, who ultimately was one of the most important people in the tale and yet was severely underused at times. Voldemort was a suitably psychotic villain, because in the end none of his Hench people were really as ruthless or as mad as him, and his lust for power - never explained - made him dangerous for everyone, not just his foes. 6/10

The series as a whole has been interesting to watch and have been a mild distraction from the fact there's very little on apart from one day a week - at least in this house it is.

What's Up Next?

There will be some new stuff and some conclusions of existing stuff. There will not be any more Harry Potter. Although there is that new Amazon (?) series due next year, but I don't really see the point of putting myself through even more quidditch than I already have.

That prequel to It is out next week, but it might not drop in time for the next blog. It's called Welcome to Derry and while it is a prequel to the two-part It films, I've heard that some other Derry based characters will turn up. I was never a fan of the book. I've read it a couple of times, but never had the love that some give it. 

There's a couple of old favourites coming in the next few weeks, but I'm struggling to find much out there at the moment that's dragging me in.

My Uncultured Life - Something Beginning With U

What's Up? 

Fucking search engines, that's what. Both Google and Bing have been 'improved' so that if you search for something now you get FIVE results and hundreds, maybe thousands of extra pages. I used to have my search results in batches of 100, but not anymore. Oh no. This can't be done any more. Which begs the question - why?

Apparently (and I'm badly paraphrasing here), it's to stop AI from 'scraping' results; has been done because the major search engine providers believe that limiting results means a better quality of answer; or something I didn't really understand because it was all bollocks... Search engines have increasingly gotten worse over the last 10 years and all I can surmise from this is we're witnessing a greater degree of enshittification...

Oddly enough, this doesn't affect picture searches. Presumably showing idiots pictures is better than showing them words? So, because I'm not going to let these tech companies dictate to me what I can search for and what results I get, I'm giving DuckDuckGo a trial - already I'm getting more results per page whenever I search.

Also Google. What an absolute cunt of a company. They are more intrusive than a predatory paedophile. It's difficult to avoid them. Take this blog, there's this little icon that has appeared just to the top right of the area where I write this blog. It's a little pencil with a star above it. This automatically inserts links to Google searches for whatever it bloody wants. If you accidentally hit this button - like I did - I had to spend ten minutes removing fucking Google search links to the 40 odd links it inserted. I didn't ask for it but I've fucking got it. Just another example of the enshittification of the internet.

Uncomfortable

The first thing that crosses your mind when you watch Léon (or Léon the Professional) 30 years after it was made is how they got away with it. This is a deeply uncomfortable and disturbing film about a 13 year old girl who develops an unhealthy crush on the hitman living next door. Natalie Portman plays Mathilda, the abused daughter of a drug dealer who seeks Léon's help when her family is massacred in their apartment. She wants to become a contract killer to gain revenge against the crooked cops who have done her wrong and Léon seems a little simple and very confused. The thing is it's still a good film even if it could never be made in 2025. 7/10

Unconvincing

There is currently one film on Channel Four's books that you can expect will get an airing on at least one of the channel's umpteen sub-channels every week and that is Roland Emmerich's The Day After Tomorrow, the 2004 climate change disaster feature starring Denis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal and some other people. It is a disaster movie (I should really just leave that sentence on it's own with nothing around it), but it isn't a total disaster. In fact, for the first hour it's a taut and zippy action thriller, it all goes a bit wrong when the pseudo-science employed by the director (who also wrote, produced, did the screenplay and probably wrote the theme tune) makes today's pseudo-scientists look quite bright in comparison. I'm not saying it was bollocks, but I think it was bollocks. Anyhow, the second half of the film has some very iffy things in it, from wolves attacking a group of people (they don't do that) to the catastrophic sudden drops in temperature that some of the people manage to outrun or hold at bay when others simply froze in their tracks. This was the first time I'd watched it all the way through in about 20 years; I did it so you don't have to. 5/10

Uncompromising

I haven't changed my mind about Task from last week or previous weeks. It's overlong and would have made a reasonable two hour film. However, it is what it is and this week we discover the secret of the mole; Mark Ruffalo finally meets Tom Pelphrey (the two main characters) and the net closes in around everyone. Maeve does something sensible but stupid and how they're going to stretch this out for two more episodes is a mystery given where we are on the cliffhanger ending.

Unctuous

I gave into... what I'm not sure, because temptation isn't it, but I gave in and watched the second episode of the new series of Brassic. This week it was all about Tommo going to Dusseldorf to hook up with his son, meet his ex and her parents and try to 'persuade' them to invest in his latest project. It was fucking horrendous; it clearly wasn't filmed in Dusseldorf, apart from some stock footage; all the Germans spoke English, including to each other and it made little or no sense at all. Even the brilliant Ryan Sampson seemed jaded and like he was waiting to die... Meanwhile back in Britain, Vinnie is trying to work out what is going on with Davey, while the new kids introduced last week are doing stuff. It really is crap, but at least there isn't the usual badly shot seasonal continuity that really pissed me off over the last few years. 

As I'm a week behind with these reviews, episode three came out and as we had nothing else to watch on Thursday night, we opted to catch up. What a pleasant surprise it was - apart from the seasonal continuity gaffs, which have returned. It's not a patch on earlier seasons' episodes but by far and away the best one of this, so far. It was about a school reunion that goes a bit wrong and there were a number of LOL moments - far more in this than there were in the opening two episodes. It's still old and worn out, but this was at least worth watching.

Underdog

The third episode of Chad Powers was all about a game of American football, which I don't really understand except it's like rugby but overcomplicated. We've also got into that US sitcom groove of this being just about 25 minutes long and as it was all set (bar the opening 'prologue') during the Catfish's first game of the season, it might have put some people off. The thing is it was again quite funny and you get the impression this could turn out to be a redemption arc type thing for Russ Holliday; but the longer he plays Chad Powers the more shit he gets himself into. Still worth sticking with.

Ubiquitous

Another film that has been on the Flash Drive of doom for a long time is Freaky Tales - a portmanteau movie of four different tales set in Oakland, LA during 1987. I've been reticent about watching it for a number of reasons, primarily Pedro Pascal, because, you know, the ubiquity of him. The other reasons include the 6.3 rating; the fact that modern portmanteau films often never amount to much or are flimsy at best with their connections. This was better than all the reasons I feared but was considerably worse than I imagined. As a snapshot of 1987, it was, as most American films are, very authentic (except for Pascal because he looks the same in everything he does), but the, dare I say it, freaky nature of the narrative made it a tough watch and it was difficult to take seriously. It had things happen in it which seemed to deliberately detract from the story and other things, involving actual real people, that didn't happen in real life and makes you wonder why they happened in this movie. In a nutshell, it involved punks, skinhead Nazis, hired thugs, cops, rappers and a transcendental Ninja basketball player. 4/10

Unpleasant

As Gen V begins to make some sense, the biggest problem I have is that most of the characters are just really unlikeable and it really feels as though this will have some bearing on the final season of The Boys - but so did the last series of Gen V and with the exception of a couple of characters from it appearing in one of the opening episodes, that was it. There continues to be something just a little bit half-arsed about this, like sending a strongman to deal with the escapees, despite Cipher knowing that Marie is as powerful as Homelander. The thing is Hamish Linklater's character is an improvement as the bad guy of the season, but for someone who always seems like he's one step ahead of the game, he don't half seem like he's a bit of a dick who suffers from a misplaced overconfidence. 

Unexpected

This was yet another example of The Morning Show being at its best and providing us with quality TV, even if by the end fans of Cory are wondering how he's going to untangle himself from two situations - one he seemed to regret the moment he did it and the other being something from his past that he isn't aware is about to come back and bite him on the arse. I really hope some of you who read this blog who might never have watched this before have found it and are enjoying this as much as we do. Yes, it's got Jennifer Aniston in it, but she's electric and nothing like how you remember her. This season has been as good as previous seasons so far, even if some of the characters have felt like they've had their pasts erased to allow the main plot lines to move forward. It's still the best thing we're watching at the moment (but we've not started watching Slow Horses yet).

Unrelenting

There's an all-star cast in Antoine Fuqua's Brooklyn's Finest, a 2009 crime drama that follows a week in the life of three cops. Richard Gere is in his final week, he's about to retire and is so depressed he thinks about killing himself every morning; he's also a lazy, uninspiring cop. Ethan Hawke is a crooked cop but a devout Catholic, with a pregnant wife (Lili Taylor), who lives in a shitty house and is desperate to move her and his five, soon to be seven, kids out. While Don Cheadle is deep undercover working with some of the worst criminals in the city and desperate to get out of his dangerous life and do a boring desk job.

It is a grim, gritty and very sleazy look at Brooklyn in the Noughties, full of unpleasant characters, dangerous liaisons and death waits round almost every corner. It's a really good film, but it hasn't got any levity, no one is happy, no one laughs, it's just bleak and probably very realistic. 7/10

Unusually Creepy

Our journey through the Harry Potter universe so far has been underwhelming; I'd forgotten how ... not very good the first two films were, but I did remember that with the arrival of Alfonso Cuarón as director the films did at least feel a little more different, less childish. Wow, it seems I'd really forgotten just what the Mexican film maker brought to this. I remembered that Hogwarts and where it was set, became darker and more 'real' but I'd completely forgotten how Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was more like a horror film than a movie about a magic kid at a wizard's boarding school. This was dark, menacing and for the first time Potter seemed to have grown a pair of balls (but he is 13 now, so maybe they'd dropped?).

This was really enjoyable, even if, yet again, the film was let down by some rather cartoonish special effects. It's the tale of misplaced blame, werewolves, magical creatures, bullying and mischief and it worked so much better than the first couple of efforts. This had moments where the narrative served the purpose of the greater story - which, of course, the movie watcher might not have been aware of - but in general it is the best one so far, possibly even the best one of all. 8/10

Un-fucking-believable

You are having a fucking laugh, surely? Did I really just sit through 55 fucking minutes of bullshit just to find out it was all a badly paced and executed set up for a third series? The longer it went past the 35 minute point without looking like there was going to be a finale - a big fight to finish the series and, hopefully, the entire show - the more I was realising that I was just being set up for more eagle shit.

This [hah] final episode had lots of bad rock music, lots of characters talking to each other, lots of setting things up that ultimately was a waste of my fucking time and effort. Am I supposed to be happy that I ended up watching some shite that is going to conclude somewhere else... According to what I've managed to find, there is  going to be no third season of Peacemaker, because this storyline will be concluded in either one of the upcoming films or a spin-off series... For fuck's sake, isn't James Gunn an absolute cunt? This takes the piss more than Marvel; I hope he gets the sack and DC dies a horrible death.

What's Up Next?

Frankly, I don't care. I was told I was uncultured this week, so maybe I'll just review the field opposite my house, for seven days...

My Cultural Life - Nothing Really Matters

What's Up?

The problem with fascism isn't obvious to most people who look at it as being the solution to their woes. Nationalism and fascism walk arm in arm because they play on weaponizing pride, therefore many of the supporters of Reform, especially, are not interested in what they're going to get from them as a government, only that they've promised to rid the country of the things (and people) that are making lives so much worse than it need be.

Of course, what happens (and quickly) is five years on from a Reform government they will have solved [some of] the problems the people believed they would, but everyone is far worse off than they were before, in so many ways. Despite restrictions on internet access (for our own safety) the anger and despair of the people is loud and unmissable. As we approach the 2034 General Election, as well as their standards of living, the people start will losing their freedoms and the country will lurch to a far more blatantly authoritarian look and your leftie neighbour, who is a thoroughly decent chap but votes Green and is tolerant towards migrants, will suddenly disappear for sending a humorous meme of President-elect Farage on their phone. The government will use the military to enforce law; begin recruiting huge numbers of police - all without appropriate checks, because this is a National Emergency... Oh and they can't hold a General Election just yet because it isn't safe. Left wing extremists are making people's lives a misery. This will be what happens in less than a decade.

All those people who backed Reform, who truly didn't believe that the new laws, lack of Human Rights and isolationist position would affect them, will become either an employee of the state or an enemy of it. "I didn't vote for this," is a facile comment at the best of times, but I will take some comfort from the schadenfreude I shall feel when that happens. 

Because this is happening. We can kiss goodbye to the NHS (Farage supporters don't believe this). We can kiss goodbye to employee rights (Farage supporters don't believe this). We can kiss goodbye to equality (Farage supporters don't believe this) All Reform will bring is richer rich people and less for everyone else (but that's just Labour and Conservative bullshit to scare people away from real change). The incredible thing is Farage is just a Pound Shop Trump. People seem to be drawn by this obnoxious frog-like Lesley-Phillips-on-acid white supremacist and I think it's because he lets them wear their prejudices on their sleeves. Populism is a great short term pressure valve, it would save Reform a lot of money if we let mobs rule the streets, dispensing their own kind of justice, before clamping down on everything and everyone. 

What I'm trying to say is Reform voters aren't interested in politics, they're not interested in hearing what's being said. They want to hear about solutions and fixing problems (that were created to anger them). Many of those things, these beliefs, are abhorrent but I'm sure it's how they feel because that's how they've been conditioned to feel. They need someone to blame. 

You cannot condense in few enough words a way to make them think about it, let alone convince them they are making bad choices. Not because they're stupid [necessarily] but because they're tired of long winded explanations and political platitudes that don't mean anything to them. They want to see the changes yesterday! I said a few weeks ago about TL:DR, but we've gone beyond that now. Convincing them isn't going to happen because they don't want to be convinced of anything but what they believe in; we have to brace ourselves for the new hell that is coming or learn how to goose step. 

Proportions

A quite small 0.45% of the British population is Jewish. The Muslim community in the UK is 6.1%. Why is it more important for Jewish people, most of which could walk down the street and never be identified as Jewish, to have extra protection and different privileges than it is for any other race or culture who have been subjected to violence? If there are examples of antisemitism being reported, why are there not examples of Islamophobia - of which there is considerably more - being reported about? Where is the balance in our media reporting? Why is there no balance in the media's coverage? It's like one culture is considered 'more important' than the other...

Or maybe British Jews should be directing their ire at Israel because that is the reason they are targeted by loony Muslims. It doesn't matter how many Jews died in this 50 year conflict, many more Muslims, Christians and other religions have also died as well; one death should be no more tragic than another, unless we're talking about babies. Obviously Israel is simultaneously responsible and a victim here - a kind of Schrödinger's Arsehole?

The Golf Days Are Over

Last weekend, we had my brother-in-law up for a visit and to take in some of the Book Festival. He, like me, is a big fan of golf (don't hold it against us) and this weekend was the bi-annual golf fest known as the Ryder Cup; a competition between Europe and the USA. Once it was simply the UK and Ireland, but since the 1980s it has incorporated Europe and since 1985 it has always been a close run competition with both sides of the Atlantic taking victories. After looking like Europe would romp to a record breaking win on US soil, the match ended much closer than you would have guessed, with a Europe victory deserved. Right, that's the sport out of the way...

The American supporters have always been partisan, belligerent and offensive - it's part and parcel of being American, I believe - but over the last decade or so the behaviour of fans of Team USA, especially in a gentle game full of etiquette and rules, has been appalling and the levels of abuse are just wrong. It came to a head last Saturday afternoon when Rory McIlroy (the guy in the picture) was verbally abused by the crowd with the MC - the woman responsible for introducing the players - leading a chant of 'Fuck you McIlroy.' All through the weekend there was abuse aimed at European players; shouts and cat calls as players were about to make a shot and their wives - McIlroy's wife had a beer thrown over her. It was a disgusting spectacle even if the golf ended up being one of the most exciting tournaments seen for many years.

This is the problem with that shit stain of a country. Americans, generally, are just rude, offensive, without manners and have an entitled air about them that suggests because they are American they are already better than everyone else. To put this into an ironic context, recently a US university sent a questionnaire out to thousands of High School graduates asking a series of questions, many of which would be considered stupid or pointless if they were in a pub quiz. One of the questions was "Where does cheese come from?" Amazingly, 18% - almost ONE in FIVE of the respondents - said that cheese was a plant. For some context 7% thought that Washington DC was in the state of Washington (which is on the opposite side of the country to the capital).

Just what have Americans got - apart from lots of weapons - that they should be proud of? I mean, they really can't make cheese, which might explain a few things and they couldn't pronounce aubergine so they renamed it eggplant. They think guns are more important than children - but, hey, the world seems to have slightly turned against children - are they expendable now? Haven't you noticed how the death of a child is utterly tragic but almost a normal event now in that country? I found the behaviour of the crowd at Bethpage Black to perfectly show the world where the USA as a civilisation is now...

The Net Closes

I think the most pertinent thing to say about Task is how inconsequential and unriveting it is. It has a good cast, the story doesn't seem that bad, but it's grim, gritty and devoid of any levity. What's worse is the secondary story, with Mark Ruffalo's family, is as dull as beige. There's a good two hour movie in here somewhere, but as a seven-part (therefore almost 7 hour) TV show, it's like a pair of socks that are almost threadbare.

Drugs

Has there been another film where everything happens and by the end nothing has changed at all? I'm sure there has, but with Steven Soderbergh's Traffic (an adaptation of a C4 series, apparently) what we get is a visceral and quite scary at times look at the drug trafficking business from all sides - the cartels, the local police, the DEA, the users, a politician who is the USA's new drug tsar and the family of a big time drug dealer. It's a clever film, especially as you notice that all these disparate sides of the story have links, both in the story and visually - many of the characters cross each others' paths without them realising it. Obviously I've given the plot away, but this was made in 2000, so... We start at a certain point in the story and loads of things happen before we end the story at a position where everything had changed, but nothing was any different - the perfect analogy to 'The War on Drugs'. 7/10

For the Love of God, Stop!

But why? Why is this here? It had the perfect ending to a series that had been on a catastrophic decline since the end of season two. At the end of the last series, the Brassic gang were left in an Italian Job scenario, dangling over a cliff. It was the perfect place to call it a day, but no, they only went and saved the coach, so that 8 weeks later everything is back to normal, except most of Vinnie's crew no longer want to be criminals. Fortune dumps some new 'kids' on him and basically who gives a fuck? This is a foul mouthed, ineptly plotted, childish bunch of bollocks now. I laughed once in 50 minutes, the rest I sat stony faced wondering how Joe Gilgun managed to con money from Sky to make this? This is a show that should have been put out of its misery; I get the impression that a lot of the people who were in this just wanted to go away and be forgotten about... I have the second episode to watch but I might just forget about it.

A Shit Night...

We gave Ethan Hawke's new series The Lowdown twenty minutes before switching it off. It didn't grab us and felt a bit too kooky and with a character who doesn't really belong in 2025.

We didn't even watch a minute of Wayward because before I put it on I checked IMDB and saw that it had dropped to 5.9, which for a current TV series is pretty disastrous. The Guardian recommended this, so it was almost a fait accompli.

I'd had Marvel Zombies for a week and not really felt like watching it, but as we'd had two blow outs, we gave it a try. The animation was better than I expected. We lasted eight minutes. Not my cup of tea, especially as the last Marvel product I actually spent money on were the Marvel Zombies trade paperbacks and immediately realised I'd wasted money I could have just thrown away.

So, desperate for watching something that would salvage the evening, we put on Mitchell and Webb Are Not Helping and got through to sketch number three before checking on IMDB and seeing it has been royally panned and scores, currently, 5.7. We switched that off and still had an hour and a half to kill...

... And the Winner Is?

Sports comedies are big business thanks to Ted Lasso, but very few have been any good. I mean, even Ted Lasso wasn't as good as everyone reckons, it was just good enough. However, there might be a new hit in the form of Chad Powers, starring current heartthrob du jour Glen Powell. He plays Russ Holliday a brilliant American footballer, but also an absolute arsehole who dumped a potentially brilliant career after a bad mistake followed by some bad judgment calls saw his future get totally trashed. Eight years later and he's still an arsehole but he still wants to play ball, the problem is he's bad news and probably cursed, so he steals the plot from Mrs Doubtfire and with the use of prosthetics turns himself into Hicksville, good old boy Chad Powers and tries out for the team that last tasted glory when they beat the team Russ was playing for when his career died.

This is funny. It's satirical and it works on two levels - the intelligent and the Redneck. Powell is brilliant as Russ the wanker, but equally quite the person to root for as Chad - quite a dilemma. The opening two episodes are worth looking at. Steve Zahn might finally have found the role to define him and I like the balance this show is already showing - huge potential.

Good Morning, Good Morning

The Morning Show is one of my favourite shows, but sometimes it does things that I can't quite fathom. The first two seasons' main subplot was about an unrequited love, which by season three was seemingly never going to happen. We're three episodes into season four and the thing any die hard fan of this show wanted, happened. It could end up being like Moonlighting, once Cybil and Bruce made the beast with two backs all of the chemistry fizzled away. Fortunately, there are some other rather juicy subplots going on this season, one which Bradley and Chip are tracking and the one where Alex ends up having a very heartfelt conversation with someone she didn't realise was so important to her. There is also a really unexpected resignation, the return of a familiar face and the subterfuge of adultery begins to really fuck with Cory's protege's head... 

Generation Contrived

I suppose the biggest problem I have with Gen V is that events in this show must have links to The Boys, so presumably you have to watch this to fully understand what has happened during the season break of the other, or something like that. Some of the stupidly contrived plot elements have started to look not so stupid or contrived, but that positive point doesn't necessarily mean I've changed my mind about this show. I have to admire the great lengths the special effects team put into this and there is a part of me that is mildly interested to see what is happening, but I also think I know what's going to happen over the next three episodes. The wife, it appears, has even less patience for this than me, but we will see it through to the end.

A One-Off

Whitehouse and Mortimer have a lot to answer for, but in this case specifically the idea of male bonding programmes. In Perfect Pub Walks with Alexander Armstrong you have the perfect format for an hour of bimbling and lightweight frivolity. The ubiquitous Armstrong, who appears to be on telly more than its on has somehow found the time between being a DJ, a singer, a host of a daily quiz show, actor and a few other things (although he's called a 'comedian' by the narrator of this and one needs to question whether he really is one of those any more), to wander around lovely bits of the UK with a guest of his choice. The reason we watched this opening episode was because his guest was the always erudite and often amusing James May, who was maybe a little more... open... than he likes to be. They built a den in Yorkshire, had several pints, talked a lot, did man things. 'Appen. 

We won't be watching that again.

Facebookishness

Obviously part of my culture is the internet and social media. The fact I don't write about it that often is testament to my ability to simultaneously be part of it and yet detached enough to remain relevant, to and for me and therefore not want to bore you with it. I have mentioned Tube of You things I've watched; Trailer Trash is actually what I've seen on the PC. The 'net is a little like breathing, it's there in the background, happening, while you get on with something else, but are aware of it. Anyhow...

Facebook Memories, I've talked about them before, can be extremely illuminating in regards to one's memory, but also quite revealing. I think most people I know are being far more guarded with their lives than they were, say, 15 years ago. Facebook is over 17 years old now for many of us and Status Updates from then are far more personal, chatty, conversational and informal; we were all quite open, it was 2008 and the world, in general was far better than it is now and the internet wasn't anywhere near as dangerous as it is now; but that was another blog. There is stuff in my Memories section that I am absolutely and thoroughly embarrassed by, horrified I posted and none of it was the slightest bit offensive. There's a sweet naivety in them, for sure, but Jesus in a dodgem car...

If you don't, you should start revisiting your past. It isn't always how you remember it.

Harry Potter's Massive Snake

The special effects were better and the general feel of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was one of taking it a bit more seriously. Of course, this was the last film with Richard Harris's Dumbledore and the last film by Chris Columbus; the next movie changes things quite a bit cinematically, if I remember correctly. This is the one where Voldemort almost comes back via a memory of himself he put in a book. It's also the one with the bad CGI snake thing and the creepy spiders. Compared to the first film this is way better, but the bar is set pretty low. 6/10

The Unforgettable Fire

Paul Greengrass makes a lot of docudramas, probably his most famous was the story of United 93 on 9/11. He's made Bourne films and other action thrillers, but he seems happiest doing true stories and The Lost Bus is his latest. Starring Matthew McConaughey and America Ferrara, it tells the true story of how a school bus driver, who was struggling to hold his job down becomes a hero for saving the lives of 22 school children and their teacher. Set against the backdrop of the 2018 fires (were they that long ago?) which resulted in the town of Paradise, California, being razed to the ground and took almost 100 lives. This is a slightly overlong but dignified biopic which, if you are like me, did nothing to make you feel that the USA is a country with any kind of stable infrastructure and that it is waiting for the next disaster to come along. We know that California is the most liberal of US states, but even here the biggest problem it has are the Americans living there. I actually said to the wife that I need to stop watching American films because the people often leave a bad taste in my mouth. If you watch The Lost Bus you will hope many of the assholes in it could have been victims...

Pissmaker

We're finally coming to the end of the most disappointing second season of a show I can remember in a long time. Peacemaker has struggled and I have struggled to give a shit about it. This has been James Gunn at his most self-indulgent and believing a series about the characters was going to be more interesting than a series about characters acting in an actual story. It backfired, for me. Maybe it won't for you, but I gave up caring about any of the people in this after the season opener. John Cena has been great, but he only has so much he can work with and when he has to work with a knock off Gunn script and a bunch of actors who seem hoisted by their own success (from the first series), he's always going to look second best. This series ends next week and I kind of hope it isn't renewed for a third season because that really would be overkill. Unfortunately, I think it's already having the groundwork laid for exactly that. Hugely disappointing series that now has a finale to try to right all of its wrongs... 

What's Up Next?

This week I no longer care. Apart from the obvious, who knows what we'll watch between now and next Friday night. One thing is for sure, it probably would be different to what I would list here anyhow.