I'll turn my revolt into style

It's Easter.

There's a couple of things about Easter that I don't understand. If Jesus Christ was born on December 25th and everyone is sure about that (ha!), then how come they're more confident about his birth than they are about his death - didn't they keep death records in Canaan or wherever it was that he was supposed to have grown up?

Obviously like just about every 'Christian' holiday, Easter has its roots firmly placed in Paganism, Druidism and any other spiritual festival that could be adapted to this brave new world of Christianity. But, what about atheists?

On the one hand, atheists get all the Christian holidays and I don't hear many of them complaining about it - I'm not! But on the other hand, atheists are not members of any club, therefore they don't get the same kind of central government or secular leniency as your extremist Christian, Muslim or those warmongering Buddhists.

I don't get a 'There's Not A God' Day, for me to do absolutely bugger all on and just sit around and eat sweets. There isn't is a Young Men's Atheists Association and probably has never been (although I'm pretty sure that some sections of society will probably have dispensed with the Christian aspect of that concept many years ago...), but arguably you could say that most God-fearing people now days practice some kind of paganism - whether it be through sex, drugs, rock or roll, so I suppose I shouldn't whinge to much and be grateful that I'm not stoned to death for being an unbeliever.

The thing is, as I've got older, I see big holidays like Easter and Christmas as being this massive waste of time and money. I know everyone is entitled to a break and a time of the year when they can just kick back and use religion as an excuse to stuff themselves silly and run up enormous debts, but.... Really? Plus, the concept of Christian holidays is so outdated. We don't see, in this supposed multicultural country, other religions festivals being recognised nationally and there's many of you who will say this is a jolly good thing and you're entitled to your small minded opinions - we're not on our own any more, we belong to a world community - live with it!

The problem I find with major holidays is that the natural order a person maintains throughout 50 weeks a year suddenly gets disrupted, but in a completely wholesale way, rather than the ordered disruption you get from a bog standard personal holiday. Not only are the shops overflowing with people panic buying because the shops will be closed for ONE ENTIRE DAY, but the television has (with, hopefully the exception of Dr Who) so much shit on it you feel dirty and in need of a bath and, above all, you're expected to be sociable and associate with family that you spend 50 weeks a year avoiding like the plague...

Plus it's Easter and it's raining!