A Short Conversation

 A Conversation

"I thoroughly enjoyed that, I like a man on horseback, but it was exhausting, one really can't be arsed to work all of the next four days. I'm 96 you know?"

"Obviously, Ma'am. We can say you were in some 'discomfort' today, that's a nice catch-all nothingness and you can spend the day with your feet up watching the Witchell fellow forever get things wrong."

"Bugger that. It's the Derby meeting. The Oaks is tomorrow. I'm not missing it."

"You're supposed to be at St Paul's attending a service honouring one's 70 years on the throne or had you forgotten?"

"I'm 96 you know?"

"You either go to St Paul's or you stay at home."

"I'll stay at home but I'm not going to that fucking concert. You know I think Rod Stewart's a cunt."

"If you don't go to the concert, you won't be able to go to the Derby. It won't look good and it'll upset the oiks."

"Okay, but I'm not hosting any garden parties and let Charlie deal with the blond wanker."

"Technically, he isn't allowed to do that because he's not you yet. You can't avoid that one unless you die."

"Oh, For fuck's sake...  I'm sure Boris is mentally undressing me while simultaneously bullshitting me and I don't know about you, but I'm 96 and I find that a wee bit creepy. It's very difficult to be pleasant all the time you know?"

"It's only an hour a week."

"When you're 96 you can be in rude health at 3pm and have pants full of death-throes-poo by 4; there's no such thing as 'only an hour' any more."