My Cultural Life - Unleash the Summer Poonami

What's Up?

This week has been a fraught one for me. It's been busy even though my life doesn't really do busy any longer. It culminated in my 3rd Wigtown Ploughman pub quiz - last night. It was the 43rd quiz of my Scottish quizzing adventures and never before has there been such a catalogue of problems...

Unusually for me, I was a bundle of anxiety in the hours leading up to 7.30pm. I mean, I suffer from anxiety anyhow, but I usually get a massively positive rush of adrenaline from the moment I open my mouth. Because of my breathing, having a microphone is a godsend because I spent 30 quizzes in this venue shouting at people and I don't think I could do that now. Anyhow, we got to the pub at 7pm and it was heaving and there were the usual seating issues and then we couldn't find the microphone - it was like my anxiety had a premonition. The mic was no where to be seen. We were due to kick off at 7.30 but we still didn't have a working mic and despite the help of lots of people, rushing home to get their own mics, it looked as though I was going to have to shout again. It was hot - again - and I was fighting off a panic attack.

Then at 7.45, my mate David decided to look in the space that at least three others had looked and miraculously found it. It had fallen off the end of the shelf and only the lead was visible. We got started at 7.50 and everything went relatively smoothly, but it was so cramped, the wife and I were finding it hard to mark to answer sheets. But we muddled through and by the time it was the final music round we'd actually not over run at all. Then we couldn't find the cable to plug my phone into the sound system and more frantic telephoning, texting and handwringing, we had to improvise by playing the music from my crappy phone through the microphone and it worked remarkably well; helped by many now drunk punters singing along.  

It was another huge success despite the problems (there were others that cropped up throughout the 3 hours I was working, but problems are there to overcome or ignore) and I opted not to drink last night but still managed to finish the evening like I'd been presenting the quiz from the inside of a sauna. I'm getting too old for this lark, I'm already trying to devise a way where it can run smoother.

My mind's already turned to July 25th and the next big quiz!

Iron Fart

If you can put up with the Chicago-styled jargon and the slightly right-on bunch of criminals, Ironheart is almost okay. The problems with it and there are many, making it difficult to like. Dominique Thorne - Riri Williams - isn't likeable; she's not a very rounded character; she's brash and clearly has dubious morals, but she's also a bit PTSD and a bit High Anxiety and her suit of armour is absolute pants, which seems to run on economy mode. She's not even the main problem, despite being the main character. The main problem is Natalie or N.A.T.A.L.I.E, the AI that Riri created via her own subconscious. This is an avatar created from Riri's memories of her best friend, which means she should be vaguely like her dead best friend and possess only the memories that Riri has of her. Yet, she appears to be an AI version of what Natalie would be like now, five years after her death, reminiscing with Riri about shit they got up to when they were young. It was a bit like that hologram from Quantum Leap but with less plausibility. In fact, it's cringeworthy to the nth degree.

The villain of the series, the Hood, appears to be possessed by some being that is possibly magical in origin, meaning the analytical Ms Williams can't work out what's going on, but she knows he's a bad 'un. Then there's 'Joe', who somehow got co-opted into the plot and story by coercion and blackmail, who just happens to be Obadiah Stane's son (Stane was Tony Stark's former business partner and wearer of an alternate Iron Man suit in the very first MCU film). There are other characters, but none of them seem to be much more than what they call NPCs in computer games. The weird problem is I could get past all the dodgy supporting cast and dubious heists they pull off and the 'partnerships' they get with people they target - despite it all being very bollocky - I just keep coming back to Lyric Ross, Riri's Jarvis. She is fucking awful and every time she appears on scream it's like someone is reminding us that this almost could have been an okay series if it hadn't been for her. It's not as bad as Moon Knight or Secret Invasion, but it's pretty close...

Illusionists Too

Sequels are rarely as good as originals and this is the case with Now You See Me 2, which is set about 18 months after the original (but more like four years in real time). This pretty much follows the original in format, doesn't have Isla Fisher in it (she was pregnant when it was filmed) and tries very hard to be more complex and extravagant and fails miserably. Part of the problem is Daniel Radcliffe as the main antagonist; the Harry Potter star suffers from a small problem, one which no one seems to have spoken out loud - he can't act to save his life. He's wooden and seems like he'd be out of his depth in a 6th Form play; therefore he brings nothing to his part as a former tech mogul trying to gain revenge on his 'bro' who stole everything he created. He has somehow washed up in Macau and has limitless gangsters and hard men working for him and pretty much sticks our Four Horsemen into a corner they're going to struggle to get out of. 

As always, there's a problem and with this movie it's the balance between comedy and drama; the comedy doesn't work, the drama doesn't feel very dramatic. The story is far too convoluted, the set pieces are not as dynamic as the first film and the denouement feels contrived and a little far-fetched. It simply is a weaker version of the original, like a bad Xerox copy. There are also a number of unresolved bits in the plot and some unexpected and silly explanations to situations. Where the original is a must see movie, this isn't. 6/10

Unrevivable 

The writing is probably on the wall for Revival. I say this because when something happened in the second episode that I pointed out to the wife, her response was, "I don't care." The thing is, I don't think I did either. What seemed like an interesting premise in the first part seemed to lose sight of the ball in the second. I wanted there to be more investigative work to try and work out why the 'revived' had revived and a look at some of the social ramifications of this world-staggering event, but almost the entire episode was taken up with Dana (the deputy) trying to work out how her little sister Em had died. Her sister was not a lot of help and is acting exactly like you'd imagine an emo would act when they discovered they'd died but their body hadn't cottoned on to the fact. Dana's son meets a strange man in the woods and thinks he can hear something and dad - the sheriff - is a bit like a chocolate teapot. I wanted this to be weird enough to follow - even if it's a SyFy show and I kept this fact from the wife. The thing is she hasn't come out and said 'I don't want to watch this any more.' So... there might be a review of episode three, but I wouldn't hold your breath and I'd consider this review to be the one you should pay most heed to...

Huh?

We watched the film adaptation of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, the one with Gary Oldman channelling his inner Alec Guinness as George Smiley. It was one of the most impenetrable things I have ever watched. I lost the plot after about ten minutes and when the big reveal was exposed I had no idea how they came to the conclusion or if anything I'd watched for the previous two hours made any sense. Therefore I can only give it 2/10. It was obviously much better than that, but I'm being honest. 

Huh 2

I decided to follow the previous night's spy shenanigans with something a little less mind-fucking as Tinker, Tailor, etc etc, but we struggled to agree on anything, so we gave the 2010 thriller The Ghost Writer a go. It was directed by Roman Polanski, so I'd pretty much guessed from the outset that all the scenes set in the USA were shot somewhere that wasn't the USA given Polanski's relationship with US law enforcement back in 2010. That was a minor distraction, because the main things about this was a) it felt like a Polanski film from the late 60s or early 70s; b) it also felt like it was an adaptation of a stage play, oh and c) fuck all happened. It was as plodding as the most ploddiest of things; it was vague and a generally difficult to follow as the spy film from the night before. Ewan McGregor plays the titular ghost writer, who is hired to finish the memoirs of an British ex-PM - played by Pierce Brosnan - after his first ghost writer turned up dead on a beach. What has he walked into? Is there something more serious going on as the day Ewan starts his new boss is being indicted for war crimes. He might not be an investigative writer but he soon starts to follow vague leads and his own paranoia gets ramped up as he believes he's being followed by someone. I don't think I've seen a film with so many known actors that has felt so wooden and inauthentic as this; it reminded me of the illusions in Now You See Me, all smoke and mirrors except this was as riveting as watching paint grow or grass dry... 3/10

Trailer Trash

The final Fantastic Four: First Steps trailer has dropped. It is just over three weeks until the film's release and rumour has it test screenings have not set the world on fire. There is a genuine feeling among commentators that instead of kickstarting the MCU this film could put the boot into it in a really distressing way. It goes up against the Superman reboot (which also had indifferent test screening reviews) and the Jurassic World reboot with Scarlett Johansson, which is likely to be a load of shit but will beat the other two in the box office battle of the summer. Event films aren't really events any longer so are going to be received with a certain amount of trepidation and shoulder shrugs, but one gets the feeling that the future of the superhero film - for the moment - hangs on this and Big Blue.

The final FF trailer did two things for me - sent a shiver down my spine and filled me with dread. Apparently, test audiences were not happy with how Sue Storm and Shalla Bal team up to defeat Galactus or how Franklin - the baby - plays an important role while Ben, Johnny and Reed feel marginalised and surplus to requirements, so there were reshoots and revamps. There's the misogynist backlash about the female Silver Surfer and there's even a growing web movement claiming superhero films are too woke, too much about women and 'foreigners' - how they're not what they originally were and as a result have suffered. I think the problem is these films are no longer scripted by a writer and directed by a director. It's all about committee and hitting target audiences, while forgetting the main audience. Anyhow, the trailer doesn't really make the film seem like something we all need to go and watch; it also has a scene with the Thing with a beard - which is probably something that cropped up in the comic in the 25 years since I last read an issue. I really don't like the new Johnny Storm, I struggle with Pedro Pascal as Reed Richards and Vanessa Kirby is simply too old to play Sue Richards-Storm. I have no problem with Ebon Moss-Bachrach - so one out of four then... I really hope this is a success because I like a good MCU film, there just hasn't been many of them since Endgame (which I had loads of problems with). Anyhow, it better be fucking excellent or I'm going to be so pissed... 

... And Breathe ...

It's been a short week for watching stuff and almost everything we've sat down in front of has been slightly worse than meh. But every cloud has a silver lining and as the week was drawing to a close something special crawled out of the mud and shit. It stood tall and swore an awful lot...

I never understood the critics who had a problem with The Bear season three; I thought it was a masterpiece, much like seasons one and two. Season four obviously has a lot to live up to and if the opening two episodes are anything to go by then we're still in the realms of it being one of the greatest television series ever created.  Jeremy Allen-White is still, pound for pound, one of our greatest living actors; he commands roles; he is everyone he's ever played and he's surprising me with his Carmine Berzatto, the punk kid from Chicago who wants to turn his old family business into a Michelin starred restaurant. We now know the result of the season three cliffhanger; we know what the restaurant critic thought and how that affects everyone in the building and a few outside. The Original Beef takeaway round the back is still as busy as ever, making money and knocking it out of the park; Ebraheim is working wonders with it, but the classy posh dining out the front is struggling and it needs a direction and it needs a miracle. The focus of these early parts is trying to turn The Bear into Chicago's best restaurant in under three months or it's going to be closed down because uncle Jimmy is going to pull his cash out. There is the usual class supporting acts from Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Richie and Ayo Edebiri as Syd and after two episodes it felt like dipping back into one of the finest dishes on any menu. If you haven't succumbed to this show's brilliance yet, book your table, you won't be disappointed by the menu or the service.

What's Up Next?

Much the same, but probably more of it. I'm tired, you know the rest...