My Cultural Life - Scary Monsters?

What's Up?

Does anyone else find it ironic that the BBC is coming in for criticism for all manner of dodgy things? The reason for this was the stupid editing of a Donald Trump speech from 2021 and subsequent accusations that the corporation is institutionally corrupt (I wouldn't argue with that regarding its news department) and having a left wing agenda (which is as comedic as the funniest comedian to ever have lived).

The BBC News departments is anything but 'left wing' and the fact people are accusing it of being left wing suggests it isn't right wing enough for certain people. I mean, let's just look at a recent news story - the mistaken releases of some criminals. BBC News and especially that boyish-faced twonk Chris Mason, who has seamlessly replaced Laura Kuenssberg as the far right mouthpiece of the company, managed to keep this story in the news for over a week, yet during the last year of the last Tory government over 800 prisoners were wrongly released. Can you remember any of these being given the scrutiny and the political spin that the BBC has chucked at it recently? No, of course you haven't. That's because the BBC's political staff are largely Tory supporters, ex-Tory party SPADs and former Young Conservatives. 

This isn't me just making shit up, their political allegiances are available for all to see if people just bothered to look. The thing is no one wants to look or even scrutinise the scrutinisers. 

What Panorama did was absolutely wrong, but mainly because Trump says enough bullshit for them to never have to fake one of his speeches. Why did it do what it did? Who knows, apart from the fact that the level of journalism at the BBC is nowhere near the level it was when they employed real journalists instead of pandering gobshites who are suddenly realising that their own political choices are no longer particularly relevant. Oh and Robbie Gibb, one of the board members is a Boris Johnson sized cunt with an agenda designed to destroy this jewel in British broadcasting's crown. Remember, the more right wing you are the less free things there should be...

Thoroughly Modern Monster

There is a scene in Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein where Victor Frankenstein's brother asks which part of the monster was its soul located and I felt that was a poignant moment, because however brilliant, evocative and stunning the cinematography is in this movie it is simply the same story that has been done before and Mary Shelley's novel is pretty boring, especially when it's been done to death, this seemed without a soul. The difference here is that Victor - played by Oscar Isaac - is a complete bastard who deserves no sympathy at all, whereas in earlier films he was always, somehow, been depicted as some kind of tragic figure.

This is a bit dull despite looking sumptuous; it focuses on the humanity of the 'monster' and the monstrousness of its creator. There is a sort of subplot involving Victor's brother's fiancée, played by Mia Goth (keeping her clothes on for once), who is about as fucked up in the head as you can imagine and a lot of the film takes place on the Scandinavian ship that bookends the story. Jacob Elordi plays the creature and his accent wavers all over the place, but there's a hint of the Lincolnshire Wolds in there and he looks like a composite of Doc Manhattan (from Watchmen) and the race of aliens who created the alien xenomorphs. It's a spectacle - as you'd expect from the director - but it's also a little bit boring and overlong. I feel like it deserves a higher score, but I'm struggling to think that it deserves a 6.5/10.

As an aside; it has always perplexed me that Frankenstein simply didn't bring a dead body back to life; why the fascination with assembling a person from body parts sourced from multiple corpses? There's some kind of perversity going on there which no adaptation has ever explored...

Unum

Of course it's set in New Mexico; everything Vince Gilligan does is set in Albuquerque or thereabouts. Pluribus is about as far removed from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul as you can imagine. This is an 'alien invasion' show that doesn't have any aliens and there isn't an invasion. Something sends Earth a chemical concoction that is basically a virus that turns everyone on the face of the planet into a member of a hive mind, apart from 12 people, of which Rhea Seehorn is one of them. Quite a few people die (almost 1 billion) as a result of this 'virus' and Seehorn's wife is one of them.

Gilligan cut his teeth on The X Files and this feels like an extended episode of that mixed with a nightmare and after the second episode, I just have to emphasise how strange and unsettling this TV show is and how unique it might be, despite skirting round the edges of classic sci-fi. Most of the second part was taken up with disposal and explanation; but it's the latter we'll focus on, because Carol has had a lot explained to her and it hasn't made any difference at all, in fact, it's probably made things worse. For starters, we find out exactly how many people died from the 'virus' and secondly we also discover the 12 people left on the planet unaffected have a power over the rest of the world that is both deadly and tragic. I can't tell you enough that this is supposed to be a comedy but it feels anything but at the moment; yes, there are funny moments and the premise lends itself to comedy extremely well, but this is frightening, psychologically disturbing and weirdly compelling. One thing is certain, I have no idea where this is going, but Gilligan will, because he's renowned for planning entire stories out before the first episodes are even made. 

However... There is a chance that some people might not have worked out what this series is about. I read a review of the third episode about two hours before I watched it and the person reviewing it couldn't understand why Carol (Rhea Seehorn) was so miserable and this made me wonder if people actually take any notice of things. I mean, I could bang on about how The Guardian's reviewer clearly didn't watch the opening two episodes when they wrote their initial review of the series, because they got key points completely wrong, but what the reviewer did get right was the fact that Seehorn's character is the most miserable person on the face of the planet, even before all but 12 people became essentially one giant hive mind. This was perfectly illustrated in an opening flashback scene when her late partner took her to an ice hotel in Norway, where instead of enjoying a fantastic holiday with the woman she loved, she moaned incessantly about the cold and ice. She's just incapable of being positive, therefore in this new world where everyone is cheerful and helpful, she's miserable (and dealing with grief and alienation issues).

The third episode perfectly illustrates this as Carol simultaneously realises that the rest of the population is there to give her absolutely anything she wants and that she now lives in what is essentially a very scary place that she seems to have complete control over, until the hive mind comes up with a way of infecting her with the same virus and turning the remaining 12 humans into... well... what the rest of the population is. This third part is still very creepy; the entire premise is disturbing, especially the fact that Carol's free will is living on borrowed time and it doesn't matter what she does she can't escape Helen's memories, because they exist in every single other living human being (bar 11).

Anyhow, I've written far too much about a series that probably very few of you will watch unless you subscribe to Apple TV+, which I really think you should if you like a higher quality of television (or you could simply download the station's shows illegally). I will say one thing in the not-so positive - I'm struggling to see where this series is going to go; what ultimately is the goal of it? It needs a subplot to sit and grow and there hasn't been any sign of one yet.

Kidnapping

So far this week the least scary thing I've watched is the monster movie. This week's box-set binge was All Her Fault, based on the terrific reviews I'd read, which don't always prove to be accurate - as I've often mentioned in the past. It stars Sarah Snook as a mother who arrives to pick her 5-year-old son up from a play date and not only isn't he there but the house belongs to someone else. How this happens is explained quite clearly as there is a frantic search for the missing child and eventually the police are involved and it appears that the nanny of acquaintances might be responsible for the abduction. Except, in the final scene of the opener, we fast forward 27 days and there's something far more sinister and strange afoot. 

This was a seriously fraught and at times scary series that has soap opera levels of WTF, especially episode five, which is one of the most intense hours of TV you will see in a very long time. It is full of both likeable and dislikeable characters, all with their own secrets and living lies who do themselves no favours with their attempts at obfuscating their own truths which bring them under more suspicion. It gets a little 'out there' towards the end and you could argue it has an extremely contrived premise, but on the whole this is a superb series that begs to be watched and it has extra added WTF value, because... well, it just does. Oh and it has one of the best villains I think that has been created in many years, mainly because you know the person is a shit but you never realised just how much of a shit they are until the very end.

The Future in the Past

It: Welcome to Derry settled into a groove with the third episode. With a total of eight in this opening series it was always going to happen, however, this played a two hander, with Dick Halloran and Levi Hanlon meeting properly, having a moment at 10,000 feet and then one inviting the other over for dinner. The Major thinks there's something strange about the corporal but the word 'shining' is never mentioned. Meanwhile, the kids go in search of capturing photographic evidence to try and help Ronnie's father from certain death as he remains in prison charged with murders he didn't commit. There are also flashbacks to 1908 and references to 1935, both parts of the 27 year cycle and so far there hasn't been any sign of Pennywise, apart from his name.

This was not as scary, nor as disturbing as the opening two parts; it almost had a Stranger Things vibe going on at times, while the tying up of the past with the present was quite clever, but whether we'll see the 1908 characters again - in the third and final series - remains to be seen. This felt a little like taking two steps forward and then two steps back, but was still entertaining.

To Belarus Without Love

Bradley (Reese Witherspoon) is being detained in Belarus on trumped up espionage charges leaving Alex (Jennifer Aniston) to try and come up with a deal, somehow, to sort out the problem. She turns to ex-boyfriend and billionaire Paul (John Hamm) to try and broker a deal with a Russian oligarch 'friend'. Meanwhile, the grieving Cory (Billy Crudup) turns to Selene (Marion Cottilard) for support, unaware that she is the villain here, on several levels. As the deal to free Bradley falls apart, it sets everything up for a finale that is guaranteed to be as explosive and heart wrenching as this show always manages. The Morning Show is superior TV at its best.

You've Got to be Joe King

Stephen King's less prolific son has a new book out, reviewed in the Guardian. It might get read or I might not bother; it depends (probably on Christmas). The thing is, like all Guardian reviews I felt compelled to have a rant about it... The book Joe Hill's King Sorrow is about an evil dragon and my 'favourite' newspaper, and the reviewer Alison Flood, made the cardinal sin of comparing it to Joe Hill's father (which is a cheap jibe at the worst of times), Flood said, quite categorically that it was a little like an homage to King's 'best' book, which she claims is It, a book that clearly isn't even in the horror writer's top 20.

It is a rambling, sprawling mess of a book, with an extremely questionable denouement, which has had to be changed in the two adaptations because having a conclusion that involves five teenage boys deflowering a teenage girl so that they 'become adults' and can deal with the monster (portrayed as a clown) better, is arguably a bit fucking [ahem] close to the mark. I know it's all subjective but I expect if you held a poll with King fans very few would have the overlong late 1980s horror novel (written when King was at the height of his addiction problems) at the top of their lists.

One other point. King and his wife Tabitha, both intelligent people, writers with good careers, called their son Joseph King? Really? Joe King? No wonder he's opted to abbreviate his middle name Hillstrom as a surname, because all joking [chortle chortle] aside, calling your son Joe King is probably the result of both parties being off their tits on something. Just ask Frank Zappa. 

Thursday Flops

We had a double bill of flop films on Thursday. I forgot to check IMDB again when we set Play Date up and we lasted less than ten minutes before turning it off. When it was downloaded it was 6.9 and that was on Wednesday evening, 24 hours later that had dropped to 5.5 and I expect it will get even lower. Fucking insult to an idiot's intelligence.

Then, we decided to watch The Smashing Machine and while this wasn't shite, it was extremely dull and that was after less than 20 minutes. With the knowledge that it was, in fact, over two hours long and the wife asking if it got interesting (like I would have known, I was also watching it for the first time), it was switched off and we went in search of something more interesting instead...

Preposterous Bollocks But Fun

The real puzzle is how anyone managed to find a way to make a sequel to The Black Phone. I mean, the killer got killed and that was pretty much it. However, Scott Derrickson, who isn't a bad director, somehow managed to resurrect The Grabber as a post modern Freddy Krueger - from A Nightmare on Elm Street - and The Black Phone 2 became a reality.

Set four years after the original, Finn - the hero of the first film - is still hearing phones ring, has taken to beating other kids up and smokes a lot of cheap weed. His psychic sister Gwen is having freaky dreams involving their dead mother and Ethan Hawke's Grabber, something is afoot. The two with their friend decide to go and work at Alpine Lake Camp - in the middle of winter, despite both being at school still - as trainee counsellors at this Christian kids camp because that's where their mother once worked and Gwen thinks there's something they need to do there.

This is essentially Gwen's film as the Grabber is actually after her to pay Finn back for killing him. It is also the place where he committed his first three murders and the premise is they have to find these kids' bodies to prevent the Grabber from using this to power himself back into reality. It is utterly bonkers/idiotic, but it's also quite atmospheric, looks really creepy and was considerably better (ie: more enjoyable) than the two films we had earlier switched off. It's not a patch on the original, but it has its moments and doesn't really leave anything open for The Black Phone 3, so expect that at some point in 2029. 6/10

A Long and Winding Road

Down Cemetery Road is the compelling argument why you maybe shouldn't get an Apple TV+ subscription. I'm finding it extremely tedious and unbelievably far-fetched, in a 'this wouldn't happen in the real world' kind of way. I know Emma Thompson and Ruth Wilson are quality actors, but this really feels a little beneath them. The mix of bad British humour with psychopaths and contract killers just doesn't really work for me. It's quaint in a punch in the face kind of way and at least we're half way through it now because I'm not enjoying it at all and I don't want to keep asking the wife what she thinks because if she is enjoying it I expect she'd give up on it if I told her I think it's worse than maybe catching rabies from a puppy...

What's Up Next?

Roofman is on the agenda, as is One Battle After Another. I'm sure there will be some other films but it really depends on what's floating my boat on a certain day.

In TV, next week is the week before Stranger Things comes back for its final season, which, I have to say, the trailers for it aren't grabbing me by the balls at all. I think I got pissed off with season four and its ability to go nowhere badly.

As usual blah blah blah...