My Cultural Life - In (Sur)Real Life

What's Up?

I have this theory. It's a theory that might only appeal to a handful of you, but I'm not going to let that stop me... There's a scene in Fantastic Four: First Steps which feels almost throwaway, but I think is deliberate. Reed Richards casually mentions that he's aware of the multiverse and then we move on; no dwelling, no explanation, just a line in a film. Fast forward to the end credit scene with Franklin and Doc Doom - as soon as Sue sees who it is, she drops her guard. Is this because Doom is - at that point - a friend and ally of the FF or is it because she immediately knows the person dressed as Doc Doom isn't Doc Doom?

I might be reading too much into this, but I like clues and the next one I offer is the unveiling of Robert Downey Jr as Doc Doom at the SDCC in 2024. He was just one man in a sea of Doc Dooms... Any of them could have been Doctor Doom, but only Tony Stark would announce his own entrance that way.

Fast Forward to July and David Harbour is on a late night chat show - something like Jimmy Kimmell - and when he's asked about Avengers Doomsday he does something either inspired or really against MCU rules. He turns to the camera, puts on his finest Red Guardian Russian voice and proclaims: "Tony Stark is Iron Man," And says nothing more. Is this just his little joke or was he actually giving away a major plot point?

We know trailers are devious, have red herrings and erase things from scenes. We know trailers are clever at blindsiding us and we also know something else - Iron Man is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. None of the others, not Cap, Natasha, Hulk or Thor, are MARVEL. They do not start and end this universe like Tony Stark does. In the MCU, Iron Man is your starting point and he is Disney's USP.

If you're bringing the band back - with some probable exceptions - you're not going to want your main man sitting this one out, are you? So how could we possibly have the impossible happen? Simple, really. This is a multiverse and how many of them will have an extant Tony Stark? Infinity War/Endgame might have only happened in one of the multiverses or it might have happened in billions of them. It's the entire point of having a multiverse (sadly).

What if the Doc Doom with Franklin at the end of that end credit scene was that universe's Tony Stark - genius, inventor and friend of the FF? What if Tony was bringing news of Victor Von Doom attempting to destroy the entire multiverse in punishment for something that happened as a result of Endgame? But why's he dressed as Doom though? Maybe because this universe's Reed and Tony know that the MCU we watch have lost their Tony Stark, in tragic but heroic reasons and it would be easier if the FF and Doom turned up here saying there's some other Doom, from another earth, who is a proper apocalypse bringer, rather than trying to explain why there's more Tony Starks than you can shake a stick at. The obvious thing about this ruse is that it's going to have to fail at a part of the film when Iron Man is needed the most, to add to the massive surprise.

This means someone else is Dr Doom and given I don't expect the real one to have much to do for two thirds of this film, then it doesn't really matter who plays him (Cillian Murphy is someone a lot of speculation has been around). 

The extra footage at the end of Avengers Endgame Encore ends with the sound of hammer on iron - the noise of Tony Stark beating metal into the very first Iron Man outfit or forging a Doc Doom mask? It's almost like they're hitting us over the had with all the subliminal Iron Man references. This is where I'm putting all my theories this autumn - that RDJ is just pretending to be Doctor Doom and we're having an Iron Man reunion in December.

Disclaimer

Oh, by the way, for TV shows that are ongoing I try to avoid any spoilers; for old TV shows that we're finally watching, there might be spoilers, but, hey, the review is of an old show so... For movies, if it's a new film then I will avoid spoilers; if the film is over two years old then not so much.

Death Comes to Richmond

In this week's thrilling episode of When Keeley Loved Roy, someone dies; someone who is dead is acknowledged as dead and we discover who the nasty bitch who is trying to buy Rebecca out is. Naturally we all knew it would be Tracey Ullman, because why is she even in the series if not to fuck someone over. Meanwhile Keeley is up the duff and avoiding raw fish, alcohol and high blood pressure. On the pitch the girls win a game, get promoted and lose their striker again, but find another one down the back of the sofa. Next week is the season finale, which I was led to believe would be the end of it - full stop. There is nothing on Wiki about there being a fifth season, so I presume that Ullman buys Richmond, kicks Keeley, Roy, Rebecca and Ted Lasso out and they all live happily ever after doing something else. Stay tuned...

The Test of Time

Midnight Run has been a staple of the last nigh on 40 years. The comedy starring Robert De Niro and Charles Grodin is classic 1980s, but also the kind of movie that turns up late at night and you end up watching it, because, you know... The thing is it's still a great comedy, even if some of it feels of another age now. The story of a bounty hunter taking a wanted man across the country to appear in court as a witness for the prosecution against a big organised crime boss should be simple, but as with all great American road movies of its era, nothing ever is. Unlike other films of its ilk, Grodin and De Niro never really become buddies, which might be why it's so much better than other movies with similar themes. It's worth watching if it's on late at night and you don't have to get up in the morning. 7/10

In Sickness

Having finally broken the streak of Matthew McConaughey films we haven't enjoyed, I fancied another trip down AIDS Lane with Dallas Buyers Club, a movie where McConaughey took method acting up to an entirely different level. He lost 40lbs to make this film and Jesus, does he look sick in it. Playing Ron Woodroof, a good ol' boy heterosexual grifter in Texas, the last thing he ever expected was to catch the 'gay disease' but years of unprotected sex, drug taking and putting his pecker wherever he felt ended up a death sentence for him. When he tries to get on the AZT program being trialled, he fails and ends up in Mexico, desperate for anything to prolong his life. There he meets Dr Vass, who had been struck off and was working with Mexican AIDS victims using experimental treatments. This gives Ron an idea; ship these drugs into the USA and sell them to other people in the same boat. To get around this, they create a club - the Dallas Buyers Club - which provides meds at a fixed rate but is not FDA approved. This is the story of how one man helped the entire gay community in the 1980s when the rest of the USA was only interested in protecting its pharmaceutical rights (and paydays). 8/10

Black Holes

The penultimate episode of Lanterns was not what I expected and went places I didn't see coming. I have a theory about who killed Hal Jordan, but at the moment I don't have much of a motive, apart from everyone hated the former Green Lantern. This was all about John and Hal's hologram trying to come to terms with the situation and John's unique ability - which was hinted at way back in episode two. 

Shark Attacks

The difference between a Simon Reeve country-based documentary and a Simon Reeve eco-friendly documentary is the latter are missing that certain something that make some Simon Reeve programmes great, while feeling like they just need to get on with it. In the second of Simon Reeve Wilderness, the affable reporter is in the Sea of Cortez, which is full of stuff but is pretty remote and has some hammerhead sharks. There is no jeopardy about these shows - last week they found a tree kangaroo, this week some sharks. It all feels like it's missing something.

Morally Ambiguous

As entertaining as it was, I had issues with Law Abiding Citizen because the 'hero' of the movie was actually the villain. This is obvious from the beginning - Jamie Foxx is an ambitious and determined lawyer who doesn't lose cases, so when he negotiates the life of a murderer who raped and killed a wife and child down to a three year sentence, Gerard Butler - the husband - isn't happy about this. Butler is a kind of CIA bod and he can kill people, very cleverly, so when he targets anyone who had anything to do with his family's deaths, it becomes a race against time to stop him from enacting a horrific revenge. Like I said, Foxx is depicted as an honest and driven lawyer, but he allowed a very nasty man to walk away from prison after time served for the benefit of his great record as an ADA. I know who I was rooting for. 5/10

The Fart Gag

Interstate 60: Episodes of the Road is a movie I'd never heard of until earlier this week. I would have thought that a fantasy with a very reasonable IMDB rating would have fallen on my radar, but it didn't, until now. James Marsden is a disillusioned wannabe comic artist whose father wants him to go to law school, his girlfriend is more into psychoanalysing him than supporting him and the only person he gets any real support from is his sister. However, on a birthday meal out, Neal Oliver makes a wish, one that falls on the ears of OW Grant - a mythical man who is believed to prowl the backroads of the USA giving wishes to strangers, the way a genie would. OW is played by Gary Oldman, with bright red hair, a bow tie and a Leprechaun-like sense of mischief. He [ahem] grants Neal his wish, which takes the shape of having to deliver a package somewhere along Interstate 60, a place that simply doesn't exist. This is like a modern Alice in Wonderland and it is very entertaining, but what elevates it from a medium score to a higher one is the fart gag. It happens unannounced, you don't see it coming and it will floor you. 7/10 

Unreality TV

The two totally fantastic things about The Truman Show are when it was made - 1998 - and how prophetic it was. Obviously, this is a very dark comedy, but if you strip away Jim Carrey and the massive façade, you're left with the birth of reality TV. It's possible that the concept of reality TV was already firmly rooted in the world of entertainment - are documentaries not reality TV? The thing was TV had never toyed with the idea of Live, Moment-by-Moment, Total TV, so Peter Weir's film introduced us to it and allowed it to escape Pandora's box. Nearly 30 years after its release and reality TV is cheap, binge-able and has an audience, who even by today's standards, are nailed on - exactly at it was depicted. There was even a nightly 'chat show' format featuring cast members and technical staff in a format we're now extremely used to - celebs talk content. The film, despite Carrey rather than because of him, is magnificently grim and as the story unfolds, you start to see how wrong everything about The Truman Show - the TV show inside the movie - is; from the corporate ownership of Truman Burbank to the inappropriate and extreme lengths some cast members have to go to keep the show's producer - Ed Harris - vision on message. About halfway through it starts to become a psychological horror story and that opens up sooooo many other distasteful aspects. The thing is it isn't a very likeable thing; there's a coldness about it which is totally in tune with the subject matter, but makes it a tough thing to appreciate its potential genius. 8/10

It's Not Goodbye

A mate of mine said when Gary Lineker left MotD, "Don't feel sorry for him. His Podcast company is making millions; more people watch his stuff on line than on the BBC." Since then a few people have quit 'BBC' life - comfortable TV mainstays - for the world of personalised programming.

This morning (Friday), I've just read some of Marina Hyde's final column at The Guardian. She's essentially quitting writing for the paper to concentrate on her twice-weekly podcast she does with Richard Osman. She's getting five times the audience and getting paid a lot more money. Good luck to her; I read her column about as many times a year as I read books in a year, so it's no great loss to me and that's probably the main reason for her leaving - people no longer care as deeply about things as they once did.

I'm recommended podcasts and iPlayer stuff all the time; I even tried the Well That Went Well podcast that Tom Walker and Geoff Norcott did during the summer, but I grew less interested in it as it went on, when I realised that I didn't really like either of the men or their beliefs and that Jonathon Pie is a creation of Tom Walker, not necessarily Tom Walker. I just don't get the format the way younger people do. I'm just old fashioned in my viewing habits, even if I have tried to be less ... long in the tooth.

If I didn't watch the Tube of You and sometimes click on links posted by trusted friends, I would never have discovered the aforementioned Pie as it would never have been on TV and maybe that's why TV is dying, because the stuff that is being watched on line has no TV equivalent. Mainstream Media is so corporate now that going into podcasts and social media at least gives you the freedom you didn't have, because we know what happens to our TV celebrities if they so much as sneeze at the wrong time. It's anodyne and outdated, but I struggle to give it up. Gen Z will, because they already have. It's an option rather than a requirement; it's never been that before.

Anyhow, just because someone we like or know disappears from our screens, no longer means their careers are over; they might just be starting.

The Liver Guys

Hmm... Runner was simultaneously what I expected and nothing like what I expected. The Australian setting felt odd; the comic book villains were mildly ludicrous (plus, the version I watched only had Italian subtitles, so all the Spanish was all Spanish to me) and despite a 100 minute run time, it felt like it was never going to end. Talk about getting as much bang for your buck as possible. Alan Ritchson plays Alan Ritchson; this time with tattoos and grieving a dead daughter and failed marriage. He is a delivery man - a specialist courier - charged with getting Owen Wilson to the Gold Coast with a liver, to save the life of a nine-year-old girl. This is a film that throws absolutely everything possible at you from nurses prepared to kill children to OTT violence that could have walked straight out of a Warner Bros cartoon. It was all right; nowt special and Ritchson is going to end up playing a superhero, isn't he? 6/10

What's Up Next?

Today - publishing day - is the second Saturday of Book Festival; just two more days of stress to go. Maybe in the coming weeks I'll explain why it's such a stressful 10 days for me, but until then you can take that to the bank.

There's new stuff on TV; apparently the new Spider-Man film will be available from Tuesday and I'm sure there will be even more to talk about...

Until then, the usual claims and disclaimers...