Jelly Smash

Hacking is a term associated with newspapers, golf, serial killers, coughs and being a bit miffed. I think that's quite apt.

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There's a growing dream by some of my more militant friends that this business could lead to the downfall of President Dave Blackadder. To them I have this to say, "Be afraid of what you wish for, because you need to consider who would replace him."

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Rebekah Brooks - a woman whose name is not recognised by spell checks - has fabulous hair. It is just a terrible shame she looks like a harpy crossed with a pug.

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I still don't have a job.

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Everything's all quiet on the Fishwife/Fuckwit front. I'm either going out less or they're in stand by mode.

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I'd like to refer people back to my summer weather forecast in May. I would like to offer my services to people who pay meteorologists shit loads of money and say, "I'll do it for half as much money!"

If 2012 emulates the last few summers, then Usain Bolt will be winning the 100 metres wading competition...

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I have nothing else...