Sunday, October 02, 2011

Smoke and Wankers

I half hobbled, half crawled out of bed this morning; my back screaming at me for the 17th day in succession; it appears there is no end to this bout of back trouble and I'm running out of painkillers. To add a sort of insult to the injury, I had to go into the garden before anything else. We're currently looking after One El's hound, Alfie, for a fortnight while he and his good lady wife swan off to Mexico for their hols. I struggled down the stairs to get the paper and Alfie was bouncing around me like a man desperate to urinate, so I took him down the garden.

It was 9.50am and already there was only one word to describe it - hot. unusually, unseasonably and undeniably HOT. Oh happy day! For it to be like this at the beginning of October is something that will stick in peoples minds the way October 1st, 1985 stuck in mine.

However, hot wasn't the only word to describe my standing in the garden wishing my back would just fuck off. Oddly enough it had nothing to do with my back and everything to do with the complete and utter wanker over the back having a massive fire on a Sunday morning; arguably the last best weekend we're going to have before March, at least. There was smoke billowing up and over towards my garden; it smelled like a paper and rubbish fire and anyone who had any washing out were going to have wash them again within minutes of them coming into contact with this blatant act of airborne vandalism.

Some people should be forced to live inside the arsehole of a diseased tramp sometimes...

That wasn't it though; yesterday we took the dogs up to Bradlaugh Fields, to the pond, which sadly is used by a lot of people, especially when the weather is fine. The wife took her bags of dog shit to the bin while I walked up to the pond and immediately saw something that got my hackles up. There were three kids standing in the water, up to their knees and they were bending a tree sapling over and slapping it into the water, causing spray to go everywhere and really doing some unnecessary damage to a young tree. Standing just behind them was their mother, whose only words were to tell the kids to stop it while I walked by them. I frowned and looked at the woman and her kids basically causing damage to the environment and the woman, with a face like a retarded shrew chewing a shit covered lemon, spat the words, "Whachoo looking at?" I shrugged and carried on walking; two minutes later the tree snapped...

Oh how they laughed...

I would have laughed as well if a big fucking meteor came down and obliterated them from existence; except people and their horrid kids like this should be made to suffer for fucking decades...

In moments like this I can understand why Theresa May wants to scrap the Human Rights Act.

However, I think it is just an indication of how fascistic the current Tory party are; removing the only real recourse the poor and disenfranchised have when the world has royally butt-fucked them. How much longer before they start to agree that slavery is a good alternative employment for the unemployed?

Did you know that the suicide rate in this country always increases whenever the Tories are in power? No shit. It goes up by about 0.5% per year for every year they're in power.

It's now 12.05; the mad fire bastard over the back seems to be throwing the contents of his bin on the fire; either that or he was planning on building the world's biggest BBQ and is now cooking something that they think is food but would probably double up as animal feed.

Fishwife, who is a fireman, tells me that there's nothing the Fire Brigade can do as the fire is being manned and it isn't out of control and as it's a Sunday, you can't phone Environmental Services and a call to them tomorrow would yield nothing because it's 24 hours after the event and no one can prove it. The police are not interested. I've considered going down the bottom of my garden and calling the man responsible an inconsiderate cuntbag; but he looks like the kind of man who would steal into my garden late at night and shit on the ducks...

Wouldn't it be good if as plague could be invented that only targets specific shitbags of society?

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