Number 85

No Fat Lady In Sight

Let's get the A to Z of Phil's slightly eclectic record collection update before I start being really boring.

The Ambient World by Jay Burnett is worth mentioning because you could argue it has very little place in my record collection, especially as the CD is filled up with some really cheesy stuff (James Last!), but I have it because of a really excellent remix of Accadia's Into the Dawn and Parks & Wilson's Heavy Air Mix of My Orbit. This might seem a little meh, especially to those of you who think my music taste is well iffy, but My Orbit is something I reckon my prog rock friends would give house room to. Not because it is some strange prog song masquerading as some ambient noodling, but because it samples The Fountain of Salmacis throughout the 8 minutes and it works. This Cd is also one of the first I ever downloaded; waaaay back in the days when I felt grubby downloading things from Usenet in one HUGE file.

One thing about my record collection (and undoubtedly Roger's) is that because Steven Wilson has 247 bands, he's going to regularly crop up in an A to Z, even though I've made a conscious decision to not play Porcupine Tree CDs (there's too many of them and I play them enough already). So my initial reaction on hearing Wilson's dulcet tones was that a PT CD had slipped into Bs by mistake. But it was just Blackfield, SW's Israeli-tinged power pop side project with Aviv Geffen or whatever his name is. I like Blackfield; the first two albums are worth listening to.

The Ambient World CD has added some variation, as well as the James Last track there were a few by Mew, and Wicked Game by Chris Isaak, which is a pretty demented record. Bongwater got played - The Big Sell Out - which isn't a patch on The Power of Pussy but had just enough bonkers in it to save it from the incineration chamber. I have Too Much Sleep on the pending pile. On the player at the moment is the sublime Young Americans by David Bowie, that'll be followed by some Blue Aeroplanes, Beautiful People and Bread. My name's Phil and I'll be playing cool sounds throughout the night...

Pond Scum

I know what you're thinking, but put that thought away or at least throw a sheet over it. This is all about duck shit and other decomposing loveliness. Yes, it's that quarterly time to get knee deep in poo and clean the duck pond out. At least today we weren't graced by Fishwife and co, who seem to think that watching us wade around in poo is great; but I do think his kids have a really unhealthy interest in shit; in fact all kids have.

The problem with our pond is simple. I don't have enough money to get someone else to do it for me.

Puncture Wound

Bollocks to cooking; I decided to buy a couple of pizzas. It meant slobbing out in front of the TV and as the wife's mini-break is drawing to an end it seemed like a good way to end it.

Of the four dogs, Murray is pretty much blameless for everything. Boy dogs are easy. Bitches are called bitches for a reason.

I'd got about 7/8ths of the way through my pizza when  Extreme Arsey Dog (or Ness) just decided that Instinct Dog (Marley) was too close to me and positioned herself between me and Marley and then started on her big time - growls, snarls, teeth, gnashing, uber-violence. Remember Ness is the smallest in the house, but also the most psychotic; a mass fight takes place and I got bitten on the right leg - the fleshy bit just above the inside knee - so badly it punctured the skin. Suffice it to say they have been very quiet for most of the evening.

That was then, this is now, getting on for 20 hours after the above; my leg is sore and we now have a new carpet. The carpet fitter was the kind of man you would gladly avoid for the rest of your life. I also officially shelved one of my intermittent story ideas. It was weird really; there I was walking the dogs running the idea through my head when I just thought, 'this idea hasn't got legs' (my dad and I always used to say if something didn't have legs then it wasn't worth chasing and I'm more than aware of how odd this sentence seems) and decided to stop it. There are some elements of it that might be useable elsewhere, but as it stands it just hasn't got any legs...

Next time: something happens