Sunday, December 30, 2012


On the Year Just Gone

Or... Look at me, I've been ill (a lot)!

I'd like to say that 2012 has been another shit year and yet another example of a year I'll be pleased to see the back of, but it just hasn't felt as bad as previous years. Now this might be down to that old chestnut I often wheel out - there is no such thing as rock bottom, because things will always get worse - where in, we're so used to it being shit that an average shit year doesn't register as much any longer. But, in reality, 2012 wasn't that bad...

Yeah, it rained - a lot. Summer was 10 days in March and a week in August; the rest was monsoon weather.  My health took a turn in a different direction and has ended the way it began with a chest infection and I've had an up and down time at a job I liken to Marmite - because I love it and I hate it at the same time.

The year was brightened up by sporting achievements beyond belief - Wiggins, Murray, McIlroy, any and all of our Olympians - winners or losers - no one let the side down this year (apart from perhaps John Terry, and he caused untold havoc across the footballing world by being a cunt). I could bang on about how SPOTY12 should have been won by everybody or how the bar for New Year's Honours was lowered so far back in the early 2000s that people who deserve becoming Knights and Dames didn't because it would seem like overkill.

There were some great films; pretty sublime TV, interesting music (but not as much as there has been in recent years) and some changes to our usual social life structure. 2012 hasn't sat still long enough to become boring and hasn't it disappeared quickly? There has been so much going on that the months whizzed past and the ever changing weather ensured it seemed to go quicker than usual - even kids at school reckoned the year flew by.

And that's it. I'm not going to waste my time flicking through lists of films, books, music, etc., and give you my own definitive list, mainly because who gives a shit? I don't, so why should you?

On Writing

With hindsight, I should have used Dave Brzeski's edited version of My Monthly Curse. There isn't a lot of difference, but it would have stopped someone like Dez Skinn having orgasms over the elementary mistakes that were left in the book even after several edits. However, my impetuosity has always been something of a downfall for me and I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, especially as I didn't at the time. I did cringe a bit, but I still cringe about things I did when I was 13.

If one thing became clear in 2012 it was that while I can write quite well, I'm inconsistent, prone to repetition and probably need a good editor and therefore I'm never going to make any money from it. That hasn't stopped me from doing it and as I seem to have no luck writing anything fictional for more than a week before I get bored, I decided that the best thing to do in 2013 is write a sequel to MMC.

Under the working title of Geek Nation, I am going to examine what makes the fans tick (as a starting point) and look at the industry that has grown out of the dying comics one.

On Weather

In case many of you hadn't noticed. It's fucking raining again. Just a lot, and it's as dark as Naomi Campbell's arsehole too. The rain that was coming down a lot is now coming down like shit from a cow's arse. No wonder people get depressed this time of the year...

On Facebook

About a week ago, my Facebook alter-ego (Bill Wall) played Scrabble four minutes ago. Really, said I, who just happens to know that I didn't play Scrabble as Bill Wall four minutes ago. Bill doesn't play Scrabble.

I happened to notice that more and more ... things... are being added to my left-hand column; one of these things - pages feed - appears to feature anything I like but I'm not signed up to receive notifications from. Huh? It appears that if you want to know what something you like to follow is up to you have to instruct your news feed to accept it!?!?! This is why so many people are getting fed up that they're not being seen or heard.

Someone will come along with a kind of Facebook that offers all the things the current one has made difficult or obsolete. I hope it's a success.

On Nonsense and Stuff

  • Most of the above was written yesterday; today the sun is shining (for now).
  • That renowned spanner of wank, Fuckwit, is having his car valeted again. I hope when I eventually go on something like DLA that I will have enough disposable income to do things like this. Obviously, he gets too much money from the government, yet we hear about all those who don't get enough...
  • Meanwhile that renowned amphibious gossiper, Fishwife, was up at the crack of dawn (lovely girl), putting his rubbish out for our Sunday collection. The wife saw his wife last night, while she was putting our rubbish out and Fishwife's wife says, "Ooh, we need to put our bins out, I'll get ##### on it straight away". Straight away obviously means at some fucking ungodly time on a Sunday morning when most, normal, people are asleep. No surprises there from the man whose booming voice makes me sound positively demure.
  • The Sexually-Explicit family appear to have six cars at the moment - makes me wonder if there's any money to be made from dogging.

If there isn't another one of these before Tuesday, then can I wish every one a far better 2013. One where the sun shines and summer stays for more than a fleeting glimpse. One where the government stops butt-fucking us for a while and a year that has us all looking back fondly at our own successes rather than others. May you all have a death, illness and poverty free year and I'll be back with something (annually) different.

And remember, apart from two of you, I love you all!

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