Pop Culture - Legends and Leg Ends

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Secret Inflammation

Why is Marvel's flagship TV series on in the summer? This is a question that bothers me, because if you look at the TV schedules at the moment, we're in the graveyard shift - these two months of the year are usually full of repeats, sporting events and summery shite like festivals etc. So how come Marvel/Disney thought it would be the best time to air this show? Maybe it's because it's not as good as they were hoping for?

We've hit the halfway stage in what has become a bit of a slog for something that promised so much. It's just not that tense; there's little feeling of jeopardy and an almost comical inaccuracy about so much of it - from using North London as Moscow to needing a bit of an encyclopaedic knowledge of the backstory otherwise you're a bit lost. Plus the fact that Gravik is a woeful villain with no menace, a dodgy accent and an ideology that I don't believe would have been accepted by so many Skrulls, especially considering in the MCU the Skrulls - or at least most of them - were portrayed as honourable, beaten and desperate. I don't believe the world treated them badly and there's little reasoning or much plausible history for this 'invasion' and annihilation plan. We get superficial explanations, dead ends and red herrings and I suppose if you're the kind of person who will watch each episode two or three times to see if you missed anything then you would defend it, but to the casual viewer (and not just me), it's not very exciting, interesting or logical - and you know me and internal logic. 

It's just a bit meh, like so many other MCU TV series. This feels like when you get the chance to go and see some legendary band and when you get there the only original member is the drummer. 

... And I would have stopped there, especially as I have more MCU news a bit further on, but I need to say, even if its only read by a hundred people, that I feel the MCU has lost the phase four plot they had trouble explaining in the first place. The decision to throw a lot of stuff at the wall and see what sticks has massively backfired and not just for Marvel. When the people you expect to make top quality superhero films start making average, nonsensical, fan-boy wank it has a knock-on effect all through this genre's industry and even moving Deadpool 3 up the schedules doesn't make the next two years look particularly exciting or inspiring, never mind adding some awe to it. 

The problems I foresee with the next Ryan Reynolds film will involve watershed moments. Will Disney allow an R rated film because usually a Deadpool film has to be R rated because of the violence, language, intent, sexual images and hardcore perversion. The maker's dilemma with this film is to avoid making it as bloated as 2 and as tight as the first movie. With Wolverine in it, it feels like a desperate measure, which normally would be pointed out in the movie, whether that will be allowed...

Early rumours suggest there will be appearances from many existing superheroes and that there's a Zelig feel about the film as Wade and Logan go spinning through the multiverse and end up 'here' at various points in Marvel history.

Tricks With My Mind

As stated in a couple of recent blogs, I've been doing this specific type of blog on and off for about 15 years and on Facebook recently, one of my memories was a blog from 2011 - the 42nd of the year apparently - where I'm reviewing a Ti West film called The Innkeepers.

This film now has a 5.5 rating on IMDB, the lowest rated Ti West feature film on the site. However, this is what I said about it 12 years ago:

It's a cracking little horror film that feels far more like a slacker indie movie and keeps you guessing right up to the last scene. It's the second film in the last couple of months where I have been at risk of injury from the wife, she spent the best part of the last half of this film gripping my arm, burying her head in my back and generally being freaked out by this very excellently understated film.

Ti West, who wrote and directed The Innkeepers, has already been slated for future success and I can understand why. There is definitely something odd about this film; the dialogue is superb; there are very very few moments that fall into the stereotypical horror film model and there's one scene that will have you jumping out of your seat - all in all definitely a post modern horror movie. Apparently, West's House of the Devil is also supposed to be an excellent low budget shocker - might have to check that one out too! Highly recommended.

In the last 12 months, I've had a couple of heated discussions with my good pal Chris about what a great director Ti West is, with me taking the position that - based on X his 70s slasher movie homage - he needs to pursue a new career as a greengrocer or hedge trimmer instead. It seems that I was in the same court as Chris a little over a decade ago.

I watched this film again, so let's see what I thought of it second time around...

I'm extremely puzzled and the wife feels the same way. Neither of us remembered a single solitary second of The Innkeepers, not a sausage. There wasn't even a single moment where we went, 'Oh yeah, I remembered that.' Nada. Nowt. Because had we remembered some of it we might have remembered that someone must have paid me to write a good review because it was an unmitigated pile of badly acted shite. I rated it highly 12 years ago? Well, I rate it very poorly 12 years later. It was really shit. It was shittier than things that come out of anuses. I could spend another paragraph or two telling you what it was about, but I really can't be arsed because the ghostly element of this film was almost an afterthought, like the story or the acting...

I'm simply aghast at how I could rate something 12 years ago and today I view it with the same eyes and found it not only wanting but positively begging for a story, some actors and something innovative. How does that happen? I'm sorry Chris but we're going to be further apart on the Ti West debate than ever before after this. I also feel bad that I once recommended it and someone might have lost 100 minutes of their life on my tip.

I Am Leg End

Considering it was made in 2007, when special effects were getting very good, I Am Legend struggles to look convincing, even if the post-apocalyptic scenes were better than anything The Walking Dead ever used. The problem with the film is nothing looks real; it has the feel of a computer game about it and once you've got over that you then realise just how shallow, superficial and dull it is, which is probably a good representation of surviving a 'zombie' apocalypse. Everything has to be regimented; clocks must be obeyed, day is your friend, night is death and always make contingency plans.

It's a very simple idea - virus wipes out mankind, a virologist also happens to be immune and is trying to find a cure; he searches for other survivors every day while trying to find a cure. His dog dies, he gets stabbed in the leg, he finds a couple of other survivors, it's all a bit bleak and then it jumps the shark somewhat. It was considerably less entertaining than I remembered it to be and nothing really happens, even the exciting bits are a bit uninspiring and lacking in excitement. I can see why it's not considered one of Will Smith's masterpieces.

Kang the Wrongqueror

It would appear that the 'theory' that's been circulating for months about how Marvel/Disney is going to have to recast the role of Kang the Conqueror is now no longer a theory and the hunt is on for someone to replace Jonathan Majors. The actor's personal tribulations are not going away and with more alleged revelations surfacing Marvel needs to recast, reshoot and reassemble before this autumn's Loki 2 appears, which we know features Majors in at least one scene (probably many more).

This news isn't good for Disney given they are trying to be supportive of its MCU division despite hearing negative news and feedback almost every day. They have been forced to bring the new Deadpool film forward by a year because the people upstairs at Disney have maybe seen the writing on the wall and are trying to milk as much from the rubber stamped successes while continuously delaying other projects with less box office guarantee. 

One Disney exec was using sports analogies last week, 'We've now lost or don't control all our stars and the rookies are not performing well. We need to start hitting homeruns again otherwise this franchise is dead.'

...Singin' in the Dead of Night

Taron Egerton's six-part serial killer series, Blackbird, which came out in 2022, has finally made its way to the top of the to watch list and I have to say given it's a finite series, there's a general lack of urgency about the plot, especially in the first few episodes, but that doesn't stop it from being the most unusual 'buddy' convict things I've ever seen.

Egerton's Jimmy is 90s Yuppie scum who turned to drugs and guns to become one of the biggest movers in Chicago is ceremoniously dropped in the shit when he's busted by the FBI and all of his bargaining chips go soggy. He gets a 10 year sentence when he was promised five, but he adapts to life in prison as best he can. Until he's offered the chance of doing something extremely unusual - he needs to move to a high security prison and befriend a misanthropic serial killer and find out where the bodies are buried to gain a full pardon.

So far so crazy until you discover this is based on real events and that Larry Hall (no relation) was an actual serial killer who has some scary similarities to Ian Brady and the Moors Murders. As the series moves towards its conclusion Jimmy is threatened on all sides just as he's about to get Larry to admit to something that can be used in evidence against him. However, when you weigh up the conclusion and how Larry was almost never remorseful and essentially played law enforcement as a bunch of idiots, you realise that in many ways he matches up to more famous serial killers, although because of his obvious learning difficulties perhaps dealing with this story in a relatively normal way would have been difficult, but there were no holds barred in this.

If you haven't seen it, check it out. It's one of those true crime things with a good adaptation thrown in to make it better. It's like a long film and there's no season two to worry about.

Wimble Done

I've never really been a tennis fan and Wimbledon tennis is one of the most boring of tournaments, given it's the best of five sets for the men and games can go on forever. I also don't understand the fascination with it; it's simply another 'special' summer event that drips classism and privilege. 

I also don't understand why it has to take over the BBC schedules like it's watched by 90% of the population rather than about 10% or why the other stations don't cash in on the need for something else while it's on. It's almost like they all put on shit so you end up watching Andy Murray get his aging arse handed to him on a plate by someone you have never heard of or can't pronounce their name.

Popmastered

The best way to watch Popmaster TV is either by recording it or getting hold of a torrents copy so you can fast forward through the 30 minutes of fluff. It's a great idea that hasn't transferred to TV especially well. TV needs a good music quiz show because that thing on a Saturday on BBC1 is okay if you're under 30. However that leads to an interesting position, because Popmaster's researchers and question setters have not understood the demographic and age of most of the contestants, therefore anything from the 21st century becomes 50% more difficult for most of the contestants and there hasn't been that many young contestants. Many rounds have tumbleweed encroaching on the set.

It's painfully slow and really needs some speeding up because some rounds work very well but other rounds are almost pointless (literally and metaphorically) in even having them. Once you fall a certain amount of points behind there's little chance to make them up and if you get the wrong set of questions give up... It's okay and it's fun answering the questions, it's just a shame the rest of it is so inconsistent and uneven.

That Lanky Wanker Film

Peter Crouch is a bit of a National Hero to the point where even people who don't know football know Crouchy; he's unique. That Peter Crouch Film was a thoroughly enjoyable, if a little truncated, biography of the 6'8" footballer who overcame considerably more adversity than your average multi-million pound player.

If I had a proper criticism it would be almost an hour and a quarter of the film is taken up with Crouch's early career up to the largely ill-fated move to Liverpool, where he scored a few goals, eventually. The next 10 years of his career and the majority of his 100 goals came after he left Anfield, but in many ways what he did at both Portsmouth (again) and Spurs (again) and then at Stoke where he spent the last eight years of his career until he retired at 38.

It explored his life with ex-model wife Abbey Clancy, his long relationship with the legendary Harry Redknapp and how he has become just as famous as an entertainer and celebrity as he was as a footballer. He's a genuinely likeable and funny guy and it must have been an enjoyable documentary because the wife watched it and liked it.

Next time...

Before next time there's the MCU's Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 to watch, and those opinions will go live tomorrow as it's our Friday night 'treat'. Meanwhile the dull MCU TV show bimbles along with many of us hoping for something interesting to happen. Wimbledon is still on so I expect another lightweight blog unless something turns up I'm not expecting.