Bastard Broadcasting Company

Hello, I'm George Alagiah and this is the 6 o'clock news.

We're here in Sendai at your expense, flown over in specially commissioned aircraft, making a massive dent on the BBC's carbon neutral pledge, just to make sure that there is someone in Japan that you, the stupid members of the general public, recognise. There is no need for me to be here, nor is there any reason for half a dozen other known journalists to be here, but our bosses feel that you will be better informed if the A list journos are here, rather than the ones we pay a weekly wage to report from here normally, when something really horrible doesn't happen!

So that's why we're here, cluttering up the place where the earthquake and tsunami hit the worst; reporting to you while simultaneously getting in the way of the rescue operation; sticking our microphones into the faces of traumatised Japanese who just want to get over the most massive thing to happen to their country since the Yanks dropped a couple of atom bombs on them in 1945. We at the BBC like to pick over the carcass of human misery like zealous vultures; it's what you, the general public pay us for. We're not content with just having a group of journalists here, we want to make sure we have more than Sky, CNN, FOX, ITN and any other news service that are just getting in the fucking way of these poor unfortunate victims of one of the worst natural disasters ever to happen.

The BBC. Your licence fee spent by a bunch of worthless cunts!