Sunday, April 10, 2011

Radioactive Sushi

General bleats...

I've zero problem with the Japanese except the way they seem to think that they have the divine right to eat any endangered species in the world. Such an unusual race and an amazing culture, yet they do like to eat some fucking strange things.

Japan and the way they eat cropped up twice this week in dispatches. The first was the knowledge the Japanese government or Nuclear Power commission or whoever is in charge of the Fukushima nuclear power plant intend (and apparently have just) to release 11,500 tonnes of radioactive water into the sea. They 'think' it shouldn't have any serious effects. Serious effects? Oh good.

Japanese gave us the love of eating raw fish. This might be revenge.

I wasn't in the office much last week; I have more important things to do like sunbathe and dig potato trenches; but while getting involved in one of my usual conversations, young colleague attempted to convince me that sushi is probably the best thing in the world and how Japanese cuisine is basically better than sex. Now, I know people who live in Japan; I know people who eat sushi and I know Japanophiles and most of them claim that Japan is better than God; but I don't like their food. I've had it before and didn't like it. I have no intention of eating raw fish, rice, vine leaves, sake, vinegar laced rice products, strange poisonous fish swim bladders or anything else like that. So, I don't care how much I'd love it; I wouldn't. Honestly and really, I won't like it. I won't eat it again and fuck off and stop telling me how it's like orgasms in food form. Twat.

Someone is going to read this and go, "He really doesn't know what he's missing..."

FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!!

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Tits appear to be the new Sopranos (or something like that). I've noticed that Spartacus - the new Starz TV show is wall to wall clunge and actors who have never got them out for the lads ever are queuing up to flop them out for all and sunder. This new Camelot series seems to have women whose clothes just fall off, revealing that Dark Ages women were not short, hairy, sagging, ugly and with rotten teeth, but gorgeous blondes with fabulous norks with nipples that point to the North Star and teeth that a dentist would willingly buy advertising space to claim he can get yours looking as good.

Apparently that BBC drama Crimson Petal and the White Knickers or whatever it's called is also wall to wall nudity - with all the women owning perfect teeth and none of them suffering from stinky minge or pubic lice (that's crabs to you and me) - both common in Victorian London, allegedly.

Of course, I think it's all shocking and we should be watching Songs of Praise or Countdown...

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Can you tell if Peter Crouch is in form?

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Well, that's it. Summer's over. Hope you got your sun tan because that's the last decent weather we're going to see until September 7th. You read it here first...

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