Light Grey Battle Troopers

The Royal Horticultural Society treat the Chelsea Flower Show and major events of its ilk like sport. Awarding gold, silver and bronze medals and it all being about the Competition. I'd never really thought about gardening as a sport until this morning when parts of my body I wasn't aware existed were screaming at me like I'd just done a marathon.

Two hours. Just two hours I was in the garden yesterday; planting beetroots, sunflowers and lawn mowing. I need to get in better shape; I'm a physical disaster...

***

FIFA could stand for Farcical International Football Association or Football International Fucking Amateurs or even something very rude. If a country were run the way FIFA is then we'd be bombing its forces and demanding Sepp Blatter stand in a World Court. Or at least that's what a handful of people think. It would appear that 172 FIFA member countries think differently...

Mindboggling.

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Summer's back, just after a Bank Holiday weekend - mother nature has a wicked sense of humour!

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Funniest name I've seen this week: Jacob Lobschitz.

***

Had a nice email from Rich Johnston this week saying how much he was enjoying My Monthly Curse. "Surprised a lot of people by not being a weekly 'That Dez Skinn? What a cunt'. Instead it's a considered, thoughtful analysis."

I have one word: August.

Alternatively, he could be saying: Phill, this is all well and good, but it's as boring as hell, when are you going to dish the dirt on Dez?

The thing is, for those of you who read this and give a shit, the story that I'm telling involves him; there is a bit of biography about him and a lot of what my life was like working for him. If anyone is expecting me reveal where the bodies are buried or how many offshore bank accounts he has, then they might as well stop now.