Sunday, May 27, 2012

2012 - 33


A lot of people still watch the Eurovision Song Contest, despite it not receiving a positive review since 1976. Martin Kellner of the Guardian suggested the BBC dispense with the show and allow a minority channel, like Eurosport 3 to handle it, therefore only the really die hard fans would go out of their way to watch it and killing it off once and for all. But that's us (and maybe the Irish), everyone else loves it even if hosting the events can be as expensive as hosting an Olympic Games.

When I read that Englebert was our representative this year, my first thought was, "Ah, we're doing an Ireland and putting up a contestant who doesn't stand a hope in hell" and you know something? I was right.

What the UK ought to do in future is make it a year-long search; conduct a kind of battle of the pop bands, starting in pubs and clubs and progressing to regional finals and a big finale and the only rule is the person or band must not have a recording deal or be an existing artiste. Make it a Britain's Got Talent crossed with a Fly-on-the-Wall documentary style programme with one of those ubiquitous idiots who appear on our screens too often travelling round the regional heats and reporting back. If the winning song wins Eurovision then get someone like Cowell or Fuller to give them a one-year, one album, deal and see where that takes them.

Funny Things with Phil in Them

Following on from yesterday's replaced consonants bit of fun, I wondered how many words I could think of, without cheating, that include the word 'Phil' in them - at the beginning. Sadly, my brain is slightly fried at the moment and the only three words I could come up with would have given a psychological profiler weeks of work...

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New & Improved

Are two words (technically three) that you should treat with caution and suspicion. I have never, ever, had something that was 'new & improved' that actually was improved, and to be pedantic, it's never new; it's the same product changed and that obviously doesn't sound as enticing.

If I see the dread words, I know that my time for eating or using that product has come to a close and you would be amazed at the amount of vegetarian products that have had this radical disaster applied to them. I won't list them, I've had enough of lists.

  • I am a bit red.
  • I was up early cleaning the ducks out and hanging washing; one would almost think I would survive if anything ever happened to the wife.
  • I didn't realise it was the annual Delapre Beer festival this weekend. I've not missed one of these for about five years, apart from this year... Shame really as the person I usually go with sounded like he had a great time.
  • I feel the need to do some gardening.
  • Verbally abusive scones.

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