Friday, April 26, 2013

More Shorts

I ranted at the poor woman at the Job Centre. Just sat down and started. I could see she was programmed to ignore me, but I persevered. I might as well have been complaining at a sheep about the price of lamb.

It's been a bad week for blood pressure, that's for sure and yet I can't help thinking that a few years ago I might have given myself an aneurysm but now I'm trying to ignore everything because I don't want to have a life-induced heart attack while railing against the system that doesn't change. I could also sit here and tell you about my experiences with Universal Job Search, which is, to put it as succinctly as possible - a complete and total oxymoron. It doesn't do much of what it says on the tin and what it does do it does in a 1990s stylee. My adviser probably wouldn't have got animated if I'd whipped my cock out and danced the fandango with the illiterate Ukrainian seated next to me.

Still, I actually was slightly less than ambivalent about the GDP figures. I'm actually quite pleased there has been some growth, because had it gone the other way then it would have been a case of abandon hope all you who enter here.

The next series of The Walking Dead could and probably should be filmed as a documentary in Sainsburys, Duston. I got a text from the wife asking me if I was shopping already (no she's not Jewish) and my reply was something along the lines of 'Fucking Zombie Chamber' and her reply was, "Sainsburys then?"

I have been sitting in the garden. I thought all the sun was going away and the cold weather was coming back, but the sun has come out again and my shirt needs to be taken off... More later!

Later is now and the day was indeed a glorious one. The long range weather forecast says the next nice weather will be in the middle of May. I must now apologise to my friend Jo for doubting her weather forecasting skills last weekend...

For those of you who have been here a long time you will, hopefully, remember that I am a great advocate of the rules - if it aint broke don't fix it and never trust anything that claims to be 'new' and 'improved'. These two specific sayings appear to be what the Internet is all about because I've noticed some more subtle but fucking annoying changes to things like my Yahoo mail, a couple of things that have upgraded themselves and my browser, which just changed overnight: went to bed it looked one way, got up, clicked on something that didn't seem to be offensive and there's all kinds of shit that's different. I finally decided to upgrade some other program I use and it is now covered in adverts. I appreciate that if something exists with potential commercial viability it will be raped repeatedly until it yields some kind of revenue and because kids treat advertising like we treat midges means that we're going to be pissed off about it, kids are going to ignore it and companies are going to continue making no money but at least they will have continued to piss off the older generations sufficiently to keep them amused if nothing else.

I was thinking that I can't remember the last time I met someone that I hadn't gotten on really well with, then I remembered that there are three people that I've known in the last 10 years, who were basically complete cunts - It might have started well and I got on with them initially, but... I'm not sure they're in my 1990s former employer's league for sustained horridness because I didn't know any of these new people long enough to gauge what horrors they could achieve over a sustained period of time. One of them really just hated me, one of them was actually something of a joke and the other is a dangerous individual; the kind of person who really shouldn't be shown a smidgeon of power or they will use it for their own personal revenges. This all came about yesterday when I was on my way back from the dole orifice and popped into the Lamplighter for a swift pint of JHB and ended up having a couple while chatting to this really nice guy who used to live in Stevenage - my home town. I was pretty much of the opinion that when I got friendly with One El that making new friends at my age was literally one for the books; retired people make new friends because the old will talk to anyone. What kind of makes it funny and slightly ironic is that I might see the guy again, he heard about the pub quiz and might join us and he's a copper. How about that, eh? Me friendly with a policeman.


  1. Hmm friendly with a policeman, well I never.Bazzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. We never did get to sit in a pub and have a drink together, bloke :( At least not yet... :)