Monday, April 08, 2013


Bark Dimshitz

I've never really known anyone with a really silly name; the reason I say this is because the wife went to school with a kid called Russell Sprout; my old gang used to know someone called Genghis Bucket, there was a kid I met recently called Beavis and there is a Chilean artist called Pongle Lizchitz. A French footballer called Ormonde Crotsville and a with the exception of the foreign bizarre names anyone calling their kid by a name that is going to come back and haunt them should be fucking prosecuted by Social Services.


I mentioned recently that I believed that we're actually all dead and this is just one of the hells we're going to suffer for eternity; either that or we'll just relive this one over and over again and never know. Well, I believe this because of the general feeling of 'even-if-something-is-good-it-will-eventually-become-really-bad-and-piss-me-off-and-make-me-think-that-my-life-is-shit-and-we're-all-going-to-die' I have running through my body like a low level electric shock. That sense of ennui you get from life in general.


I toyed with the idea of creating a new bogus Facebook account the other day, as an old acquaintance of mine once said, 'you can't have too many sock puppets'. I went through the usual bollocks of setting up a Yahoo account and came up with a weird name (see above) that I believed would be completely unique. I invented an email account (or I nearly did) for a person called Mitsy Banu. Yahoo said is taken; but is available or banumitsy1962 is available. I tried mitsybanu1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and so on and so forth and every single one of them was taken or unavailable. How does that work then? You do a search for Mitsy Banu on Google and the closest you get is Misty or Banu Banu, but Yahoo already have 174 Mitsy Banus all with email accounts.

Interstellar Artois

I have finally spent a large amount of time in the garden and provided we don't get too much rain down this week, I think it might be repairing itself nicely. There are even a couple of crocuses up and some things are beginning to show signs of springing into life; but it still just looks more like a tundra out there than Britain in the 'spring'.

Bad Films

Don't be tempted into thinking that Film4 is a mark of approval. Three films have been watched in the last week that have all come from the once hallmark of quality that Film4 once was and a little under 6 hours of my life that I will not be able to spend doing something stimulating and enjoyable. Do not be tempted by Berberian Sound Studio because it isn't anything it says on the tin; don't believe for a second there might be an interesting story in Hyde Park on Hudson because there isn't and anyone who said that Sightseers was a) about serial killers is lying - it is barely and then only by accident; and b) good - it's odd and strangely watchable, but 'good'? Jury's out on that.


In the end they decided not to bother following the source material which begs the question why did they use the source material in the first place, why didn't they just come up with their own idea based on a similar thing?

Cocky Swagger

Remember Max Headroom? Yeah, so do I.

Effercio et Ineptias

  • We now have an olive tree. It was symbolic. 
  • I was accused of being paranoid last week and then the person who accused me did nothing at all to assuage the paranoia that he successfully only managed to introduce and then enhance.
  • One can't help thinking that Christians are fucking evil and Bedford is the kind of place that could really do with nuking. 
  • I'd still like to find a use for bindweed.
  • God is an Astronaut has been my 'new jam' all week.
  • I still believe Kubrick ruined The Shining.
  • 27 applications and counting.
  • One million, three hundred and forty one thousand, nine hundred and fifty.
  • I have written and scheduled a blog to be published on April 19, 2062 - that would be my 100th birthday.

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