The Big Sell-Out

I think I'm feeling more human again. Which is a good thing. Whether I was suffering from Oxycodone withdrawal or I had a bout of coincidental real flu, I don't care. But today, I feel a little more like my old self. That said, since I've stopped taking the man-made morphine I am suffering from back, hip and groin pain again. But even that doesn't feel quite as bad as it did. Maybe, and optimism isn't really my strong point, but maybe I might be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Even the nasty whack I took to my thigh last week has come out - leaving a bruise that is quite sickening to look at, but is at least coming out.

I mean, how long can this shit last?

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However, despite feeling a little better, I haven't really got much to talk about. I did just go through a really unpleasant last five days - in more ways than just the above - and at times I actually thought I was losing my mind.

I'm just about at the end of my B movie bonanza. I fell asleep during Them! yesterday, despite the fact that it actually is a pretty well made movie and calling it a B is probably an insult - especially as it has a cast that would not be out of place in a 'proper' film. It also appears to have been written with a certain degree of skill. I fell asleep because I was just plain exhausted, which sounds a bit weird coming from a man who has barely been able to move for best part of the last month; but I have had recurring bouts of insomnia and when you lay in bed between 3am and the wife's alarm at 6am, I suppose you have to catch up at some point.

Speaking of insomnia - this was heightened, I believe, by me stopping smoking. My achievement has somewhat been overshadowed by my health issues, but I'll have stopped for a month on Thursday and I suppose it has been easier than I expected because I've had so much to keep my mind occupied. In fact, I'm bloody amazed that I haven't been out and bought a packet of tobacco and OD'd on it!

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I firmly believe that whatever government we have in power, they should do something about arseholes letting fireworks off on any day apart from November 5th. I realise that the current administration is highly unlikely to do anything - I mean, firework manufacturers and sellers need to earn money so they can employ more of the public sector casualties - but it really isn't fare to all the people in the country who own pets.

On Saturday night, we got back from going shopping and had three of our four dogs quivering in fear; one of them, Murray, was so panicked that I thought he'd been permanently traumatised. The shame of it is that for the last two years it hasn't been that bad; but on Saturday one of our neighbours decided to have a firework party - one whole week before Bonfire Night, the twats - and it seemed that every rocket and airborne banger went off directly overhead. It seems to me that whenever we have anything like a Tory government people seem to think they can get away with murder and if one of my pups had died from fright, I would have been calling it murder. My dogs are my kids and if I had forced next door's two boys to be subjected to two hours of something that scared the wits out of them, I'd get prosecuted.

We're a nation of animal lovers? Like fuck we are.

At least we didn't have to suffer Trick or Treaters knocking on our door last night. It might have had something to do with the sign - "All Trick or Treaters will be fed to my terrified dogs" hanging from the doorbell...

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My MRI scan is a week tomorrow. I won't get the results back until the 17th. I am going to try and keep my health issues out of this blog for the next 17 days, even if it means not actually writing anything for the next 17 days. But, then again, I'm sure that won't disappoint many people!