Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Moron Counter

I will sign on for the first time in nearly 25 years today. The place where people sign on in Northampton has to surely be one of the least salubrious places on the planet. Not inside; that's been made plush and new; but outside where the dregs of society lurk, harass and generally give being unemployed a bad name. Part of me wonders if these people are actually employed by the government to put normal people off from becoming a statistic...

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I tried for three days to come up with a review of Saturday night's party; the problem is, while it was a great night, attended by many, many good friends, it didn't really have anything of note happen for me to use as a catalyst for a blog entry. It was just a good night.

There was an incident towards the end of the night where the usual suspects entered into a round of singing Killing Joke records in a Pub Singer stylee; which sort of deals with the surreal side nicely.

I could say that for the first 3 hours, I barely sat down because I was busy being a host, while simultaneously saying that it's a pain in the arse being the host because you never get a chance to sit and chat to all the people who have come many miles to see you. I was lucky if I grabbed 2 minutes with everybody; some people were fortunate enough not to get me at all!

It also reminded me why we only have parties every five years or so. Bloody hard work!

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I think of myself as multicultural, yet find myself increasingly frustrated by ignorant foreigners who seem to think that the world revolves around them, when it clearly revolves around me!

Take last night for instance: we're driving down to the pub for the pub quiz and there are three guys walking down the middle of Military Road; a thoroughfare that has two paths/sidewalks; one on either side. As we grew closer to them, it became apparent that only one of them understood he was on a road, while the other two continued merrily down the middle of the road. Eventually, as I grew closer, one of them, looking very disgruntled moved out of the way; the other just as I was about to hit him. I bellowed something about imbeciles, wankers, paths and saw they were all clearly from one of the former Soviet bloc countries. Got to the end of the road, turned round to return to a parking spot I'd seen and there they were again, walking in the middle of the road. The wife said something about not getting uptight, so I refrained from shouting any abuse at them; I just accelerated at them and made the ignorant twats move or be killed.

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What I can't understand about this town and many others like it is how taxi drivers are allowed to flaunt, break and take the piss out of the laws of the road without ever getting in trouble or reported for it. Surely these people know that they are vilified by most people; you'd think they'd do something to improve their image, rather than exacerbate it by perpetuating the fact they are ignorant, offensive and rude.

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I like to avoid talking politics nowadays, because it infuriates me immensely. However, with more and more people growing disgruntled, dismayed and disillusioned by the current government's policies; surely someone in power must realise that regardless of the supposed mess we're in, they have to do something that is going to make people have a little more trust in them.

Speaking of politics, I find it abhorrent during PMQs that the party in power sit and snigger, laugh, piss take and generally deride any query or point raised by anyone who hasn't probably gone down on a member of the cabinet. It makes people watching think that the country is being run by a bunch of leery, posh pricks who have no regard for the real people in the country...

Oh...

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It's a sorry state of affairs when you realise that possibly as many as 50% of all our current crop of schoolchildren have lost the use of their legs. It's obviously something that's been kept under wraps, so not to alarm people that the future of the country is going to be dependent on a generation that have forgotten how to walk and believe that they have to be taken to and collected from school, by gas guzzling cars otherwise their legs will seize up or possibly fall off.

Every town and city in the UK is awash with mothers in 4x4s (because they really need them) between 8 and 9am and 3 and 4.30pm five days a week; making it doubly difficult for anyone needing to do something arguably more important efficiently. It also means that during this time there is more likelihood of accidents happening; cars breaking down and mega congestion at a time when parents should be educating their children about conservation and being green. It is, however, the fault of schools and governments who have allowed local schools to no longer be local. It must be really healthy for these growing kids' lungs to have to breath in all those fumes twice a day just because Tarquin or Jacosta (or as often as not Jaydon and Chantelle) can't catch a bus or walk the distance between their homes and their school.

I know people worry about the health of their kids, but this reminds me of an old acquaintance who once had a melanoma removed from her shoulder. It made her completely anti-sun. She would never go out in it without factor 50 protection; smothered her kids in said same protection and limited their exposure to sunlight to about a minute a day. This is the same woman who smoked 20 cigarettes a day; drank a bottle of red wine a day, and ate more red meat than a butcher's shop window. This woman was also sedentary, overweight and quick to criticise other parents who did things like take their kids to the beach or allow them to play out with their friends.

We live in a selfish old world where ignorance is bliss and being academically astute doesn't necessarily equate to having an ounce of common sense.

If I was running a school in this country, I'd either look into how I could lease a bus service to bring and remove the children from the school and supplement this with a ½ mile exclusion zone around the school. If a parent brings a child within that zone by motor vehicle, then the child will get a week's detention for every time the parent does it.

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Equally, I'd make sure that we got rid of most of our armed forces; scale it back to the point where we defend our borders; supply a contingent for the UN and NATO and generally become like Belgium, Holland or Spain as far as military might is concerned. We would save ourselves shit loads of money and eventually would stop being a target for terrorists, created by our decision to back any invasion of any country that has oil or other precious commodities.

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I'm actually in quite a good mood today...

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