Friday, September 23, 2011

There is No F in Orange

I did a straw poll of sorts. There were 24 of my friends on Facebook who commented about the 'new look'. 17 were against it. Six were for it and one was ambivalent. Of the 17 who were against it, 17 of them were over 35. Of the six who liked it, five were under 25. I think that, above all else, tells the story needed to be told. Facebook isn't for old fogies really; it doesn't allow us the control over what we see that we want, whereas youngsters really don't care what goes up on their home page.

My Facebook experience has, it has to said, been waning over the last year. I play Scrabble, Bejewelled Blitz and a game called Collapse, which is like Tetris but in reverse. I post the odd link up and update my status about once every 3 weeks. My News Feed (something of an oxymoron) had been edited so that only about 50 of my 220 friends are visible and I have been taking to deleting any advert that appears on my page and giving the reason as 'offensive', because I find all advertising mostly offensive. If I want something I'll look for it - simples...

But I'm out of step with the rest of the world, really. This is probably why I've decided to invest some time in Google+ and less time on Facebook. Google+ looks a bit like Facebook did when I joined it; there appears to be a degree of control about it and yet while I write this I can't help but think it's all just a waste of time. Social Networking is at best superficial; at worst it is obtrusive and advertisement led and I've made my feelings about that clear already.

I'm not going to say I'm abandoning Facebook, but I'm going to take a leaf out of my mate Mark's book and every time I get pissed off with this totally free thing, I shall log out and go and do something less boring instead. When you no longer have any control over what you see, it's time to distance yourself, regardless of whether or not we pay for it.

That's one of the real issues we (speaking as a disgruntled misery guts) have to deal with; Facebook is free; we're not forced to use it and if Zuckerberg and his hordes of autistic cunts want to change it every day we can do nout but shout at our own walls. Contacting Facebook with a query or complaint is more difficult than being God and ultimately every one that complains is just complaining to themselves and all the poor schmucks who want to read your complaints. When Facebook changed its appearance 3 years ago, there were over 2 million people who signed a petition to have it changed back. Sounds impressive, but in reality it's about 1% of the total users - hardly the voice of the vocal majority now, is it? I'll bet that 99% of those 2,000,000 people were over 35. Oh and they didn't change it back and after a few months everyone got used to it.

Perhaps I need to get together with a couple of computer programmers and invent Old Farts Book; a place where misanthropes, residents of Tunbridge Wells and anyone who thinks under 25s speak in a different language. A place where we're not interrupted by things that mean nothing to us and soon become a hindrance.


Yesterday is the first day of Autumn. Welcome to 6 months of cold, wet hell (He says with the forecast for temperatures in the low 20s for the next few days...).


I have a big back garden and I've grown some funky things in it over the last few years, but I could make a load of money out of it if I was to build a block of flats or maybe some small mock Texas Ranch bungalows. Obviously there would be problems; there's no access to my back garden accept through others back gardens or my highly fortified back gate, but I figure if I tell the local council that I'm actually a Traveller and I don't need such things like Planning Permission or a brain, because via Facebook I can get the backing of countless B list celebrities to campaign for me. I should either make loads of money or I'll appear on TV looking like some Deliverance reject with the IQ of a cheeseboard and the righteous indignation that even though I'm in the wrong I can play the race card and just break the law. It will look even better if I can get the BBC to cover it...


  1. As your average autistic cunt, I dispute your lumping me in with Mark Zuckerberg's acolytes.

  2. If the cap fits... you lovely man ;)