Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Do you Ocelot?

With the realistic threat of redundancy hanging over my head, I return to work tomorrow after 3½ months of doing nothing. If estimates are correct, I should be looking at joining the dole queue some point in March, possibly sooner, unless, of course, I manage to find suitable alternative employment. Obviously, finding a job over Christmas is as difficult as attempting to get Karen Carpenter to resurrect herself in your flower beds and I noticed that the once bulging job pages in the local paper had shrunk like a small penis attached to an under-endowed boy swimming in the sea. It seems that there aren't that many jobs about and one must wonder what chances I have of securing anything after 21 months of pretty crappy physical health. I'd say my chances are a bit like my health - pretty crappy.

Still, mustn't grumble. I might be dead. Or a Tory. Or both.

Roger said to me just after Christmas to come up with an idea that will make us lots of money and he'd see to it that it happens. Well, I've had an idea and, amazingly, it's a sensible one. The problem is we might both have starved to death by the time it is practical to set into motion.

It's weird; I always think of potential Christmas presents the week after the event and I've just had a perfectly sound money making idea just after the most opportune period. Well, when I say money making, it isn't, but it has the potential to make money, if handled properly and it isn't porn! Although, I'm wondering if there's a market for middle-aged cripple porn? There seems to be a pervert out there into most unusual things; just type 'broccoli porn' into Google with the safe search turned off and you will NEVER eat it again! Or, then again, you might...

Tomorrow, I will return to work. I will discover what I'm going to be doing for the indeterminate amount of time I'm remaining there and I will do it to the best of my abilities. I have 21 days worth of holiday to cram into less than 3 months (that's like 4 weeks and a day), so don't be surprised if I'm off a lot of it. Apparently you can only carry 5 days over, you lose the rest if you don't use it and I don't see the point of even thinking about carrying any over; it's not like I'll get the chance to use it.

Ho hum...

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