How Dare You!!!

My dogs have a habit of getting me into trouble. Today was no exception.

I was out over Bradlaugh Fields with the four of them and we were half way round our walk when Marley - the idiot dog with an unpredictable nature - starts acting a bit fidgety; like something has spooked her. Running along side this specific part of Bradlaugh is a footpath that runs all the way up to Moulton Park and from this footpath emerges a woman pulling a suitcase on some wheels.

Marley does no more than start barking and runs up to the woman. I shouts at her to come away, but she's got a bee in her bonnet now. "Come here you stupid cow, it's a black suitcase!" I shout.

A few seconds later, Marley is running off in another direction barking at some school kids. I start to follow her when suddenly I hear, "Excuse me." I didn't think it was aimed at me, so carried on walking. "I said, excuse me!" I turned around and the woman with the suitcase is heading in my direction.

"Yes, love."

"How dare you!! Do you think you can insult me just because you have dogs?" I really have no idea what she's talking about.

"I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?"

"Do you think it's funny to call me a stupid cow with a black suitcase?" Realising what has happened and unable to stop myself, I start laughing, which appears to anger the woman even more. "So you think it's funny do you?"

"No. I'm sorry but you've got the wrong end of the stick." She's standing there giving me daggers. "I was talking to the dog. I called her a stupid cow because she was barking at your suitcase." And I gave her the most charming smile I could muster.

"Oh." She says as little Ness wanders up to her and starts sniffing her wheelie bag. "Oh..."

"I'm sorry if the dog alarmed you, but I was just telling her she was being stupid; not you."

"You must think I'm mental," she said, but to be truthful I could see how she could get it confused.

"Not at all. Easily done." And I started to laugh again. "My wife is going to find this hilarious."

"So's my husband," she said and suddenly a potentially nasty situation was reduced to a good humoured misunderstanding. She wandered off towards her destination and I walked back to the car, still chuckling.